The 6 Most Horrifying Sex Scenes in Fan Fiction (Pt. 4) When you talk about erotic fan fiction, the word "erotic" tends to be redundant, because most people have no idea that any other kind of fan fiction exists.
We've already talked about how brain-ticklingly insane some of these stories can get, but because the goal of the Internet is to boldly explore the furthest horizons of damnable madness, here are six more challenging pieces of fan fiction you can use to ruin any pleasant memories you might have had of the characters involved. #6. Barack Obama Has Unicorn Sex With Princess Celestia from My Little Pony Andrew Burton/Getty Images News/Getty Images The Scenario: The story opens with U.S. president Barack Obama strolling out into the White House garden to masturbate with a bottle of beer and somehow missing the opportunity to make the "stimulus package" joke that all of us were expecting: Saul Loeb/AFP/Getty ImagesPresidential historians call this "Coolidging.
" Where It Gets Really Weird: The 6 Most Horrifying Sex Scenes in Fan Fiction (Pt. 4) The 5 Most Baffling Pieces of Christmas Themed Fan Fiction. Christmas is a time for family, goodwill toward your fellow man, and stories about Santa sodomizing Scooby-Doo.
What, that last one's not a tradition for you? You must not be a fan fiction writer. As we've told you twice before, fan-fic writers don't let little things like "sanity" get in the way of their favorite characters meeting and then immediately boning. And unlike the rest of us, they don't take a Christmas vacation. So without further ado, let's see the genital-shriveling ways they celebrate the holidays. #5. Sexy Santa is a Twilight fan fiction story that replaces all that vampire crap from the popular novels and movies with Santa-on-Santa sex. The story begins with series protagonist Bella Swan prancing around her house in some sexy Christmas-themed lingerie that her friend forced her to try on, when her sparkly vampire boyfriend Edward Cullen emerges from her chimney.
"Tisk, tisk, tisk. GettyHow have we never noticed the obvious resemblance? Where It Gets Really Creepy: #4. The 5 Most Horrific Sex Scenes in Fan Fiction History. Erotic Internet fan fiction is a sexual hobo stew; ingredients that normally have no business being within a hundred miles of each other are mixed together anyway, with a resulting product that makes no sense to anybody but its delusional creator.
The Internet never tires of connecting two unrelated worlds through the power of creepy, awful love, just like we never tire of snarking about these horrifying concoctions. So, once again, here are some stories that should win a Nobel Prize for discovering the long-term benefits of the universe's eventual heat death. #5. Slimer Rapes Sam from Transformers, While Wolverine and Jean Grey Have Scat Sex With a Ghostbuster. 5 Fan Fiction Sex Scenes You Won't Believe Exist. #2.
The Jonas Brothers Do It With the Band of Brothers The Scenario: In this 50,000-word Internet novella, the Jonas Brothers are alive during the 1940s and enlist to fight in World War II. The older brother, Kevin, is sent to the Pacific, while Nick and Joe go to the Western Theater, ending up getting stuck in Bastogne with the men of the Easy Company (as seen in the HBO miniseries Band of Brothers). Naturally, boning ensues. K-Jo fans can stop reading, he doesn't appear again. But before that, Captain Winters (played by Damian Lewis in the miniseries) notices something suspicious about these fresh-faced young soldiers: "Oh, and Nick? " Nick's stomach sinks. Even in an Army uniform he looks like a total pussbasket. "I'm not going to bust you," Winters says. The 5 Most Horrific Sex Scenes in Fan Fiction History. #2.
The Residents of Eureka Shack Up With Anatomically Correct SWAT Kats Via Ftlnews.com The Scenario: Eureka is a show about a town full of mad scientists doing wacky experiments. The SWAT Kats are crime-fighting alien cat people. It's a typical day in the neighborhood when the scientists notice a strange aircraft in the sky above.
Via Tvrage.comYes, we're talking about these guys. Where It Gets Really Creepy: When we say these Kats are anatomically correct, we mean that in the worst possible way: She hadn't been able to notice the barbs they'd mentioned on either of them; clearly they weren't that prominent, at least not from a distance. Yes, their penises are spiky and barbed, much like a real cat's. Thinkstock/Comstock/Getty Images"Hey, don't look at me. The 5 Most Baffling Sex Scenes in the History of Fanfiction. When traveling in the vast, anonymous, lawless expanse known as the Internet, it's a given that you're going to run into some weird shit.
Maybe none of it is weirder than the world of erotic fanfiction. This is where fans lovingly write up tales of, say, Legolas and Gimli going at it, in excruciating detail. But dig deeper and you find stories featuring such random matchups of character that it'll send your mind, and boner, reeling: Captain Jean-Luc Picard Meets Elrond From Lord of the Rings; Sex Ensues The Scenario: In this long, molasses-paced tale, Picard is on the most important mission of his life: a mission for fun. Of course, something unexplained goes horribly wrong, and he ends up crash-landing on Middle-Earth.