A mother passing by her daughters bedroom was astonished to see the b... Wrong number ? A.S.B. • Who doesn't like a blonde joke? A blonde walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan officer. She says she’s going to Europe on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5,000. The bank officer says the bank will need some kind of security for the loan, so the blonde hands over the keys to a new Rolls Royce. The car is parked on the street in front of the bank; she has the title, and everything checks out. The bank agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan. New Taxi Driver - Laugh Break. Parents Network: BPN Jokes & Quotes: Why Parents Get Gray Hair. Mother-in-law. I was happy. My girlfriend and me were dating for over a year, and so we decided to get married. My parents helped us in every way, my friends encouraged me, and my girlfriend?
She was a dream! There was only one thing that bothering me, quite a lot indeed, and that was my mother-in-law to be. She was a career woman, smart, but most of all beautiful and sexy, who sometimes flirted with me, quite obviously too, and made me feel uncomfortable. One day, she called me and asked me to come over, to check the invitations. What could I say? So, she said, I'll go to the bedroom, and if you are up for it just come and get me. I just watched her delicious behind as she went up the stairs. I stood there for a moment, and then turned around and went to the front door... Her husband was standing outside, and with tears in his eyes, hugged me and said, we are very happy and pleased, you have passed our little test. Lesson learned: Always keep your condoms in your car.
Dave! Dave was bragging to his boss one day, "You know, I know everyone there is to know. Just name someone, anyone, and I'll know them. " Tired of his boasting, his boss called his bluff, "OK, Dave, how about Tom Cruise? " "No drama's boss, Tom and I are old friends, and I can prove it. " So Dave and his boss fly out to Hollywood and knock on Tom Cruise's door and Tom Cruise shouts, "Dave! What's happenin?!? Although impressed, Dave's boss is still sceptical. No, no, just name anyone else," Dave says. "President Bush," his boss quickly retorts. "Yup," Dave says, "Old buddies, let's fly out to Washington. " And off they go. Well, the boss is very shaken by now but still not totally convinced. "The pope," his boss replies.
"Sure! " So off they fly to Rome. "This will never work. And he disappears into the crowd headed toward the Vatican. Working his way to his boss' side, Dave asks him, "What happened? " "Who the f*#k's that on the balcony with Dave? " 2010 Darwin Awards - You've been waiting for them with baited breath, so without further ado,here are the 2010 Darwin Awards. Eighth Place In Detroit, a 41-year-old man got stuck and drowned in two feet of water after squeezing head first through an 18-inch-wide sewer grate to retrieve his car keys.
Seventh Place A 49-year-old San Francisco stockbroker, who "totally zoned when he ran", accidentally jogged off a 100-foot high cliff on his daily run. Sixth Place While at the beach, Daniel Jones, 21, dug an 8 foot hole for protection from the wind and had been sitting in a beach chair at the bottom, when it collapsed, burying him beneath 5 feet of sand. Fifth Place Santiago Alvarado, 24, was killed as he fell through the ceiling of a bicycle shop he was burglarizing.
Fourth Place Sylvester Briddell, Jr., 26, was killed as he won a bet with friends who said he would not put a revolver loaded with four bullets into his mouth and pull the trigger. Third Place After stepping around a marked police patrol car parked at the front door, a man walked into H&J Leather & Firearms intent on robbing the store.