5 Popular Zombie Survival Tactics (That Will Get You Killed) Everybody has a zombie contingency plan.
A unique and ingenious stratagem they've spent hours contemplating that ensures they and their loved ones will stay alive in the event of a zombie apocalypse. The only problem? You've got the exact same essential plan as everybody else: go raid the gun store, get out of the cities as fast as possible, find a sturdy base to fortify and hole up in, use a melee weapon whenever possible to conserve ammo and--if the worst does come to pass and you find yourself facing down a crowd of the undead--take your time, aim carefully and make every shot a head shot.
Jesus, you're not going to last five minutes. Awww. Radiation Dosage Chart. Physics Is Beauty (Video)
Zombie Apocalypse Survival Gear - True Swords. Fire Starters View more Survival Manuals How-to guides for living off the land, weapons, hand-to-hand combat, medical training, building traps and more.
View more Military Paracord Tough cord for snares, fashioning spears, shelter support, restraints, splints and much more. 6 Signs You're About to be Attacked by Zombies. Every Saturday, Cracked lets someone from another website do the update for us.
They get to show off their stuff to our fans, and we get to be lazy while someone else does our job for us. In the latest example of our convenient selflessness, former Cracked writer Matt Wilson of the International Society of Supervillains lays out some sure signs you're about to be swarmed by the living dead. It's as if it's almost Halloween or something. Your first instinct during a crisis is to go to your mall. As seen in: Dawn of the Dead (original and remake), Dead Rising. How 7 Iconic Movie Characters Would Do In a Zombie Attack. There's not a movie on Earth that wouldn't be drastically improved by the addition of zombies.
Whether it's a romantic comedy, a buddy cop flick or a documentary about global warming, the inclusion of a sudden attack by relentless, blood-thirsty zombies is a surefire way to make any movie more compelling, more thrilling and more award-winning. To demonstrate this principle, we've hired a team of elite screenwriting geniuses who, using the finest Pentium computers available, are busy rewriting the classic movies of our age to include zombies. Below we present some of their work: Character studies used to illustrate how various iconic movie characters would handle a full scale zombie outbreak. John McClane (as seen in Die Hard) The Setup: John McClane, a New York cop, is visiting his wife in L.A. where they're soon trapped in the upper stories of the Nakatomi building by a group of Europeans.
Available Weapons: Allies: None. 25 Hidden Upsides to Living in a Zombie Apocalypse Slideshow. STREETS OF BEIGE. 5 Popular Zombie Survival Tactics (That Will Get You Killed) 5 Scientific Reasons a Zombie Apocalypse Could Actually Happen. 7 Scientific Reasons a Zombie Outbreak Would Fail (Quickly) Let's pretend for a moment that zombies are real (as if half of you weren't already daydreaming about that very thing).
Have you noticed how most zombie movies take place only after the apocalypse is in full-swing? By the time we join our survivors, the military and government are already wiped out, and none of the streets are safe. There's a reason the movie starts there, and not earlier. It's because the early part, where we go from one zombie to millions, doesn't make any sense. If you let the creeping buzzkill of logic into the zombie party, you realize the zombies would all be re-dead long before you even got a chance to fire up that chainsaw motorcycle you've been working on. They Have Too Many Natural Predators Do you know why we, as humans, are at the top of the current food chain?
We are simply too smart and too well-armed for any wild animal to hunt. Not so disgusting now, are they? Now imagine zombie hordes wandering Africa. 12 Gadgets to Survive the Apocalypse. Now is a good time to ponder the apocalypse.
Iran and North Korea are going nuclear, the wonky weather is a harbinger of catastrophic climate change, and end-of-the-world blockbusters abound. (Tim Burton's '9' came out last week and '2012,' 'The Road,' and 'Zombieland' are all coming up later this fall.) In that dismal spirit, the Switched team has gathered its first choices for last-chance gadgetry -- a collection of 12 must-haves if society is in peril, whether it be by fire or ice, zombies or aliens.
Using our handy "What Type of Apocalypse Will It Be? " Public Restrooms. Public restrooms serve as both a creative playground for horrible people, and also as an outlet for those who like wrecking a place.
Beware: it's dangerous in there. &&(navigator.userAgent.indexOf('Tri Just The Facts 110% of the craps taken in a public restroom are diarrhea. The extra ten percent are the ones that wind up outside of the toilet. Landmarks, Hazards and Annoyances Public restrooms are a veritable wasteland of desperation and diarrhea.
Public restrooms always include at least all of the following... Graffiti - Definitely the highlight of a typical field trip to the crapper. Hieroglypshits, if you will. Turdffiti - The worst thing you can find in a bathroom. Floor Turd (could also be a Sink, Wall, or Toilet Tank Turd) - Turds on the ground. Broken Toilet - Happens every time you have to take an earth shattering, spleen passing, life threatening zeppelin of a dump. Pee Gel - Describes the coagulated layer of urine present on every public restroom floor. Inhabitants.