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Zombies!

6 Signs You're About to be Attacked by Zombies. Every Saturday, Cracked lets someone from another website do the update for us.

6 Signs You're About to be Attacked by Zombies

They get to show off their stuff to our fans, and we get to be lazy while someone else does our job for us. In the latest example of our convenient selflessness, former Cracked writer Matt Wilson of the International Society of Supervillains lays out some sure signs you're about to be swarmed by the living dead. It's as if it's almost Halloween or something. Your first instinct during a crisis is to go to your mall. As seen in: Dawn of the Dead (original and remake), Dead Rising Why it's a sign: Imagine a horde of zombies swarming down the main street of your town. That's because there are two types of people in this world: those who think of malls as grossly unsafe places to seek shelter during a zombie apocalypse, where the undead masses could hide out in clothes racks and toy bins and where glass doors serve as a flimsy barrier between them and the undead hordes outside.

Zombies are incredibly patient. Awww.

Horror Writers

The First Zombie Proof House. Somehow, ritual drunk-conversation concerning team captains for the apocalypse has become a major part of the lives of 20-somethings.

The First Zombie Proof House

Having been matured in the Grandaddy-crowned masterpiece film (put “A.M. 180” on and forget that you have a job) 28 Days Later and the best-selling Zombie Survival Guide, we’re all a little too ready to deal with the 2012 zombie apocalypse of our dreams. “The Safe House,” designed by KWK Promes, starts to get eerily close to something I could work with, if say 200 bludgeoned members of the undead army came over to eat their way into borrowing some sugar.

“The most essential item for our clients was acquiring the feeling of maximum security,” begins the designers’ website in the summary of the structure. Who wouldn’t feel safe in a concrete rectangle that folds in upon itself to become completely sealed? Even the windows are covered with a slab of concrete when the structure is on nap time. 7 Scientific Reasons a Zombie Outbreak Would Fail (Quickly) Let's pretend for a moment that zombies are real (as if half of you weren't already daydreaming about that very thing).

7 Scientific Reasons a Zombie Outbreak Would Fail (Quickly)

Have you noticed how most zombie movies take place only after the apocalypse is in full-swing? By the time we join our survivors, the military and government are already wiped out, and none of the streets are safe. There's a reason the movie starts there, and not earlier. It's because the early part, where we go from one zombie to millions, doesn't make any sense. If you let the creeping buzzkill of logic into the zombie party, you realize the zombies would all be re-dead long before you even got a chance to fire up that chainsaw motorcycle you've been working on. . #7. Do you know why we, as humans, are at the top of the current food chain? 5 Scientific Reasons a Zombie Apocalypse Could Actually Happen.

That, ladies and gentlemen, is what we like to call a real, live, undead fucking zombie.

5 Scientific Reasons a Zombie Apocalypse Could Actually Happen

So there. Chances this could cause a zombie apocalypse: Think about it. Under every legal system in the world, all rights and responsibilities are terminated at death. Cemetery Dance. If you have a soon to be published book that you’d like to have considered for review in Cemetery Dance magazine, you’re on the right page.

Cemetery Dance

This is NOT how you submit manuscripts for publication consideration. This page is only for books that are already being published. If you have a manuscript or artwork you want to submit to the magazine, comic, or book line, please visit the appropriate page: Magazine Submission Guidelines, Comic Submission Guidelines, or Book Submission Guidelines. Please Note: Authors may submit properly bound review copies, but make sure your publisher isn’t sending us a review copy first. We are happy to consider self-published works, but they must be submitted as bound copies. To have your book considered for review in the magazine, please send one review copy/galley to each of the following addresses: Cemetery Dance magazine Review Department P.O. Nanci Kalanta, Review Editor543 Hilltop DriveStaunton, VA 24401. Weird Tales. We closed to fiction and poetry submissions February 26th of 2014 at 6PM Eastern time, and plan to open again in the Fall of 2014.

Weird Tales

We will announce new themes at that time. We pay three cents a word for unsolicited submissions published in Weird Tales Magazine. We pay a $10 flat fee for under 500 word pieces of flash fiction published on this website. Each issue of Weird Tales has a theme. If your story relates to these themes, your response time will be sped up. We also publish work that has nothing to do with the themes, so feel free to send what you have. Views from Sunfall - The Blog of Peter Giglio. Abusing the English language since 1984… Chuck Wendig, Freelance Penmonkey.

Inspiring ghouls of the fictional world of horror everywhere.