You Only Have Two Real Friends, Maximum. One of the interesting side effects of moving across the world for an as-yet-undetermined length of time is seeing friendships molt, wither, and then–usually–fade into oblivion.
Most friends and lovers (I hate that term, by the way, but it’s more palatable than “person you are occasionally boning”) become nothing more than a few conversations over the span of a year that consist mostly of “Man, it’s been forever. Wow.” And I know what you’re thinking: “My friends/bffs/blood sisters/trusted clergy members are different. We would Skype regularly if one of us lived on THE MOON.” I know, I thought so, too. It’s rather depressing, the trajectory a friendship takes when put on indefinite hiatus. And let’s not even think about the path that most romantic long-distance relationships take, as that is far too sad to even consider.
2012 Calendar Of Existential Crises. January This is it — the year I get my sh-t together.
Starting with eating right and exercising more. Although, it’s probably unhealthy to mentally associate self-improvement with the New Year, because if I quit, I won’t restart again until next year. So maybe I’ll just aim to start being healthier at some point this month. Ohmygod, is that my weight?! February I am so glad I’m going to the gym more — I feel so much better about myself and life in general. March Joining Match.com was the best decision I’ve ever made. April Never again am I going home. Addendum: Late April: I can’t believe I sent my brother’s birthday gift a month early!
May I love the start of wedding season — so many people are getting married this year! June Those three weddings last month were so fun — and doing the “cha-cha slide” every Saturday with some of my closest acquaintances has been really energizing! July Alright, enough self-loathing and pity. This Is Why You're My Best Friend & Thought Catalog. We’re best friends because you get it.
I’m not sure what that means (it’s all so vague) but whatever it is, you have it. I don’t need to explain anything to you or worry if you’ll get the joke. You already got it and are on your way to making the next one. Thanks, babe! You really make socializing a lot easier for me. We’re best friends because you love me even when I’m terrible. We’re best friends because I can take you anywhere and you’ll adapt. We’re best friends because you never make me uncomfortable. We’re best friends because we can go for long stretches of time without talking and it won’t damage the relationship. Why You Should Go Out Tonight & Thought Catalog. Remember when I was all, “Going out on a Friday night is depressing!”?
Well, it is but tonight you should just suck it up and go crazy because it’s Halloween weekend! Since the gods decided to play a cruel prank on us this year by having the holiday fall on a Monday night, this weekend is your chance to find a trick and pray it turns into a treat! Full disclosure: I don’t even know what I’m going to be. All I know is that I own a fur coat and copious amounts of booze so I’m sure something will come together. I could be a drunk ex-PETA advocate, a drunk Rachel Zoe, or a drunk dead animal—all of which are terrifying. You should go out tonight because it’s so easy to fall into that #dark homebody place where you’re thisclose to getting bed sores and the only people you’ve talked to in the past three days are delivery men carrying your pad thai.
You should go out tonight because sometimes you need to get drunk and make mistakes in order to feel alive and young.