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Clean Short Jokes, Funny One Line Jokes. An onion can make people cry but there has never been a vegetable invented to make them laugh. ~ Will Rogers When I come to one of the forks in the road of life, I don’t waste time and energy wishing it was a spoon. ~ Miss Piggy All reports are in. Life is now officially unfair. If all is not lost, where is it? The first rule of holes: If you are in one, stop digging. I went to school to become a wit, only got halfway through. It was all so different before everything changed. Some days you're the dog, some days you're the hydrant.

I wish the buck stopped here. It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere. The only time the world beats a path to your door is if you're in the bathroom. If God wanted me to touch my toes, He would have put them on my knees. When you're finally holding all the cards, why does everyone else decide to play chess? Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die. It's not hard to meet expenses. Spirituality Jokes 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. 1.

TOP 100 funniest one-liners, quotes and jokes on the internet! Part 1. Confusion about Love. We started as friends, perhaps, we are still friends. Nothing more, nothing less.. We just came to a point, where I couldn't identify "love" and friendly love. He made me feel so important, he even had a mushy lines for me. I thought we're starting to have a "next-level" relationship. But one day, he told me that he is confused about his true identity, and kissed another guy. Of course, I was so shocked!. He asked me if I was angry. He told me that he was so hurt because he hurt me and for lying to me.

He told me that he would give me time to understand was is happening to us. After a few days, we became friends. Now we are friends, but out misunderstanding is still present. It's just so painful. Funny2 - The Place for Humor on the Internet. Thought of the day, thought for the day, motivation, thoughts from Motivating Moments and Motivate Us. "You are the makers of your own fortunes. You make yourselves suffer, you make good and evil, and it is you who put your hands before your eyes and say it is dark. Take your hands away and see the light. "Swami Vivekananda --- Submitted by Amit Mane --- India This saying is outstanding and takes you to the right direction. "Starting over is the hardest thing, but a quest to a new life is better when we start by letting go of all that hurts and breaks us. "The pessimist says opportunities are NO WHERE.

Submitted by Lauren Covington "To a friend: Life drop kicks us a lot more now it seems, then comes back for another hit when we are down and spitting blood. "Whether you've known them a day or a lifetime, never underestimate people and what they might be able to teach you. "You might not be able to change the cards were dealt in life but that doesn't mean you can't go all in. " "If you have faith and hope, you will remain positive and there will be no room to worry. "Tranquility is a Choice.