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<img class="aligncenter size-full wp-image-12595" title="talk" alt="" src="http://content.artofmanliness.com/uploads//2010/09/talk.jpg" width="400" height="260" /> I think we’ve all encountered men who have a knack for good conversation. They can talk to anybody about anything in a laid-back, casual manner that sets people immediately at ease. A complete stranger can walk away from these conversational maestros feeling like he’s known known them for years. It’s easy to think that the art of conversation is a skill that the gods bestow on a happy few, while cursing most men with turbid tongues. While it’s true that some men simply have a greater portion of innate natural charm, the art of conversation is a skill in which all men can become competent.
<img class="aligncenter size-full wp-image-16998" title="convo2" src="http://content.artofmanliness.com/uploads//2011/05/convo2.jpg" alt="" width="400" height="320" /> Last month I met up with an old friend I hadn’t seen in forever to have lunch. Having both read and written about how to be an effective and charismatic conversationalist, I followed the old dictum of listening more than talking and asking the other person engaging questions about themselves.
Narcissistic personality disorder ( NPD ) is a personality disorder [ 1 ] in which the individual is described as being excessively preoccupied with issues of personal adequacy, power , prestige and vanity . This condition affects one percent of the population. [ 2 ] [ 3 ] First formulated in 1968, it was historically called megalomania , and is severe egocentrism . [ edit ] History The use of the term "narcissism" to describe excessive vanity and self-centeredness predates by many years the modern medical classification of narcissistic personality disorder. The condition was named after a mythological Greek youth named Narcissus who became infatuated with his own reflection in a lake. He did not realize at first that it was his own reflection, but when he did, he died out of grievance for having fallen in love with someone that did not exist outside of himself.
What is the false self? The simple answer is it's whatever the Narcissist wants it to be. In essence whatever mask they can use to hide the insecure and damaged part of themselves to obtain the narcissistic supplies they need to support an inflated view of themselves. The more complex answer is that the false Self is a protection mechanism against attack from the outside world. The Narcissist may suspect that something is wrong in their make up but they choose not to investigate the source of their insecurities and fears, they deny their feelings because it would mean they are not perfect. They don't want others to see their defects because if they are pointed out it casts doubt on the grandiose image they have of themselves.
Why do people suffer with NPD? There are 2 main areas of concentration when looking at the root cause for NPD, these are Social Conditioning and Parenting. Social Conditioning The modern media (through film, magazines, newspapers, television programmes etc.) bombards us with information on how we should aspire to achieve bigger and greater things in a world where celebrity status is viewed as ideal.
Forget yourself and submit to the other person. That’s the BIG challenge of listening. To check your ego. To relinquish you agendas. To suspend your preoccupation.
In this groundbreaking book -- the first popular book on narcissism in more than a decade -- clinical social worker and psychotherapist Sandy Hotchkiss shows you how to cope with controlling, egotistical people who are incapable of the fundamental give-and-take that sustains healthy relationships. Exploring how individuals come to have this shortcoming, why you get drawn into their perilous orbit, and what you can do to break free, Hotchkiss describes the "Seven Deadly Sins of Narcissism" and their origins. You will learn to recognize these hallmarks of unhealthy narcissism -- Shamelessness, Magical Thinking, Arrogance, Envy, Entitlement, Exploitation, Bad Boundaries -- and to understand the roles that parenting and culture play in their creation. Whether the narcissist in question is a coworker, spouse, parent, or child, Why Is It Always About You?