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2013, motherfuckers. Yeah! LET'S DO THIS.
Lewis Carroll's Alice's Adventures in Wonderland Anybody who grew up in the 1960s (and still remembers anything about it) can tell you what Lewis Carroll's classic children's book was really all about: A girl takes a "trip" down the rabbit hole and finds herself in a surreal world where animals start talking to her. After she eats some "mushrooms," everything starts to change sizes before her eyes. She meets an over-stimulated "white rabbit" and a stoned caterpillar smoking a "shitload of drugs."
First off, congratulations on becoming a homeowner! Deciding to buy a house is one of the most important decisions you will ever make and it should feel good knowing that those four walls belong to you now, regardless of what shape they're in and on which Indian burial ground they might be standing. This house has many hearts.
#3. The Zipline Kids This is Daisy Mora, an 11 year-old girl, pulling some commando crap so crazy that you'd call bullshit on it in a video game.
In the 80s, video games were still new to the public and the game companies were still trying to figure out how to ease us into the technology. From their early ads, it appears they decided the best way was via batshit insanity. Nintendo Australia/New Zealand Ad When Nintendo brought the NES to the US they rolled out about the most run of the mill ad ever : just a kid, the games and an announcer announcing how awesome it all was.
When we reach the age of two, we start to have a few questions about our bodies. At first they're simple. 'Will that toy fit into the wet hole in the middle of my face?' But as we mature, the questions become more complex and too numerous for any reasonable human being to answer.
Everyone has an odd quirk or two that they think applies only to them. We hate to break it to you but, according to science, you aren't special. Every small tic or strange habit or pet peeves that anyone has are actually scientifically documented conditions, with widespread sufferers and often devastating results. So read on, and have fun playing House as you diagnose yourself and your friends with these afflictions. Such as ...
It used to be that the only thing kids had to worry about were cooties, homework and closet-monsters, but those innocent days are over. There's a war, dammit. A culture war . Soon the red states and the blue states are going to erupt into the kind of hot purple mess previously only experienced by Prince's bedmates and Grimus's toilet.
The world is chock full of ear hurt that some people willingly refer to as music. The Jonas Brothers, Lady Gaga, Conway Twitty; they all produce high quality records and 8-tracks for our enjoyment whether we like it or not. But music--even terrible music--has a stunning amount of power over our bodies. For instance science says music can...
Let's give the devils their due. Yeah, they've screwed over thousands of innocent people. But some of them had balls the size of hot air balloons and for that, we must salute them. Charles 'The Ponz' Ponzi is, quite simply, one of the greatest swindlers in American history. The originator and copyright holder of the piece de resistance of his career, the "Ponzi Scheme," Ponzi also boasted old-timey movie star looks and a smirk that could charm the pants off of the Pope. Much like Vito Corleone, Ponzi came to America as an impoverished Italian immigrant.
Birds are the most majestic creatures on Earth -- we plaster them on our cars, flags and coins. You see them soaring up there, and think they're above all the petty savagery down here on the ground. Well, it turns out they're dicks. Golden Eagles Will Drop Your Ass The golden eagle is perhaps the most revered bird in the entire world. It is the national bird of five countries and has been featured on the coat of arms of nearly a dozen others.
There are certain rules that extend across nearly every movie universe which we as an audience have to accept. Bad guys will always attack one at time , high school girls will always date a guy they fundamentally hate and pedestrians will never end up in wheel wells during car chases . While the rules may seem completely divorced from reality, some of the more staggering clichés actually have science on their side.
A year ago, I designed a robot whose only purpose was adding jokes to Family Circus cartoons . Most robotic engineers told me I was crazy. They said things like, "You're only taping a smile onto cancer," or "I knew this day would come -- my robots are penetrating me." But I didn't stop. Family Circus has been shitting in the mouth of comedy for 51 years and we need to fight back. That's where PG-13 comes in.
Other charts you might enjoy: The Science Behind Stupidly Hot Peppers The Rise and Fall of an Internet Meme
#7. This Desk Gives the Absolute Best Blowjobs ... ... because it's from Ikea, and the Swedish are a famously blowjobby people.