background preloader

Funny Things

Facebook Twitter

The 56 best/worst similes « House of Figs. Really Bad Jokes. Latest Additions: 4/7/11 What's the difference between bird flu and swine flu?

Really Bad Jokes

If you have bird flu, you need tweetment. If you have swine flu, you need oink-ment. What did the fisherman say to the card magician? Pick a cod, any cod! Siggas live - Black man loves Pokemon. Quotations. "Britain is not an island...well, yes it is, but...

Quotations

" - Unidentified MP, on BBC Radio 4 - from Mark Saxby (Reading, England) "The President continues to surprise people, so I am not surprised to be surprised. " - US Secy of Defense Dick Cheney - from Mark Wiersbeck (Minneapolis, MN, USA) "President Bush is due to address the nation in approximately 20 minutes precisely. " - Peter Jennings, ABC News - from Roger Allen (Nashua, NH, USA) "Mobile launchers are more difficult to detect because they move around, unlike fixed launchers. " - Katie Coucik, NBC News - from Lowell McCulley (Nashua, NH, USA) "Continuous coverage of the war in the Persian Gulf will resume in a moment. " - Tom Brokaw, NBC News - from Jeff E. Nelson (Nashua, NH, USA) "We have good reason to believe he was stabbed. There was a sharp object sticking out of his chest". - Lt. R.