The Greatest Craigslist Room Rental Ad Ever. Things People Said: Courtroom Quotations. The following quotations are taken from official court records across the nation, showing how funny and embarrassing it is that recorders operate at all times in courts of law, so that even the slightest inadvertence is preserved for posterity. Lawyer: "Was that the same nose you broke as a child? "Witness: "I only have one, you know. " Lawyer: "Now, Mrs. Johnson, how was your first marriage terminated? " Accused, Defending His Own Case: "Did you get a good look at my face when I took your purse? " The defendant was found guilty and sentenced to ten years in jail.
Lawyer: "What is your date of birth? " Lawyer: "Can you tell us what was stolen from your house? " Lawyer: "What gear were you in at the moment of the impact? " Lawyer: "Can you describe what the person who attacked you looked like? " Lawyer: "This myasthenia gravis -- does it affect your memory at all? " Lawyer: "How old is your son, the one living with you? " Lawyer: "What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke that morning?
" Dear Girls Above Me. Food Network Humor. The most awesome story i ever heard Funny Pictures Add Funny. Grandma found this while looking through her drawers. 50 Hilarious Things That Siri Says. If you have been living under a rock lately (just a figure of speech, don’t take it to heart), then you might have not heard about the new iPhone 4S. Apart from a few spec bumps, one of the stand out features is called Siri. Siri is a virtual assistant that you have access to 24/7 (or at least when the servers are not overused).
Originally back in 2008, Dag Kittlaus, Adam Cheyer and Tom Gruber started Siri out of a project by non-profit R&D institute. Apple successfully acquired the company in April 2010, and ever since have been working non-stop to deliver Siri for the iPhone 4S. At this point and time nobody is quite sure how Siri works. However some speculate that all of the information transmitted throught the software is stored. Now you are trying to comprehend how in the world does this tech stuff relate to inspiration? Don’t forget to check out some of our other awesome articles! Please Note: Some of the following statements might not be safe for a working environment. 5 Lovable Animals You Didn't Know Are Secretly Terrifying. If there’s two things Cracked is all about, it’s fucked up animals and dongs.
And since they won’t let me write “The 7 Most Fucked Up Animal Dongs,” (Editor's Note: Only because it's been written already) I had to settle for focusing on just the animal stuff. So hey, here you go: Here’s a bunch of adorable animals that will probably nonetheless scar you for life. Let's skip the pleasantries and get right down to hyperventilating and swearing at nature, shall we? Bears are pretty intrinsically scary, but come on – look at that guy! Holy shit! If there was a color-coded scale for cuteness like there is for Terror Alert Levels, the red fox would be at Level Orange: way above Adorable Bomb Threat and just half a notch below Snuggle Jihad.
I would name him Mr. Now, here’s the sound he makes: If you came of age in a small town, you’re probably already familiar with the sound red foxes make. You: Jesus, this weed is amazing. Your Dickhead Friend Barry: Ha! Red Fox:AWWAAUUUUGHHGGGHHHH!!!! “What? Is Our Childrens Learning? 20 Hysterical Roommate Notes.