Master the Art of Body Language for Dating. Agreed, although, I've gotten dates/one night stands without talking. Body language is very important. Flagged You might not understand the exact words they are using (in another language), but if you pay more attention to everything else you'll get a general idea of at least the general attitude/mood/intention underlying everything. There may or may not be any official studies (though, I'm betting there have been, I'm just too lazy to care at the moment) but it's fairly obvious that body language and voice tone make up ridiculously more amounts of importance than words do.
Are the figures themselves accurate? Possibly not. Is the general idea that voice tone and body language account for quite a bit more than mere words? Try actually paying attention to people around you and notice that probably a good 90% of the things they say "mean" so much more depending on the "context" which is usually communicated via body language and voice tone. Really? [changingminds.org] Variables prédisant le succès ou l'échec des relations de couple. Une nouvelle recherche montre que la présence ou l'absence de certaines habiletés relationnelles, au début d'une relation de couple, peut en prédire le succès ou l'échec. Pour cette recherche, publiée dans le Journal of Marriage and Family, Mari L. Clements a étudié 100 couples sur 13 ans. Au début de la recherche, ces couples planifiaient leur premier mariage.
À la fin, 58 étaient considérés comme des couples heureux (bien que certains aient connu des périodes de détresse qu'ils ont surmontées), 22 étaient encore mariés mais malheureux et 20 avaient divorcé. Les résultats montrent que la sensibilité et le support prédisent le succès alors que la négativité et le sarcasme prédisent l'échec. Ces résultats sont intéressants explique l'auteur car quelques variables mesurables même au début de la relation ont un certain pouvoir prédictif sur l'évolution de celle-ci et il est possible de favoriser le succès en développant les habiletés en cause. SOURCES: healthday. The Top 5 in Bad Love Advice. By Melissa Ritter, Ph.D.
When it comes to other people's relationships it seems everyone thinks of themselves as an expert. Advice, usually bad and critical, flows freely. Unfortunately, many accept these comments as legitimate, even authoritative, judgments on romantic relationships . From my experience, here's the top 5 in often well-intentioned but profoundly misguided love advice: {*style:<b>Entitlement </b>*}He/she is "too good" for him/her—"you deserve better! " {*style:<b>Fidelity </b>*}He/she should immediately leave him/her—no questions asked—because of "cheating. " {*style:<b>Timing </b>*}Love has not been declared in X amount of time (the value of X depends on the critic) and so there is something "wrong" with the relationship.
{*style:<b>Timing Redux </b>*}Sex has/has not occurred within X amount of time (again, X varies) so the relationship is a waste of time. {*style:<b>Purpose </b>*}For a relationship to be valuable it has to be "going somewhere. " Now to numbers 3 and 4 of my list.
Infidelite. Divorce. Attractive Men Have Long... Ring Fingers. - During the study, factors such as male odor and face symmetry were also tested on a sample of women aged 18 to 34. - Where many of the tests were inconclusive, the length of a man's ring finger produced unambiguous results. - The longer the ring finger (compared with the shorter index), the greater the likely impact of testosterone. The longer a man's fourth or ring finger is compared to his index finger, the more likely he is to be judged attractive by women, according to a study released Wednesday. The results, published in the British Royal Society's journal Biological Sciences, unveil intricate links between foetal exposure of males to hormones, the development of certain physical traits, and what turns on the opposite sex. It also adds to a growing body of research -- conducted under the banner of evolutionary psychology -- suggesting that the drivers of human behavior are found, more than previously suspected, in "nature" rather than "nurture.
" How We Shoot Ourselves in the Foot in Committed Relationships. Falling in love is as natural as death. Staying in love is as natural as good diet and healthy exercise. We can eat, exercise, and love well in the short run, but over the long haul of everyday modern living, we tend to shoot ourselves in the foot. That's because, like toddlers, we try to do these things in the wrong part of our brains. Below are two of the major ways we shoot ourselves in the foot when it comes to love. The biggest mistake we make in love is assuming that our partners' experience is the same as ours and that events and behaviors should mean the same to them as they do to us.
The illusion of sameness allows us to create some measure of safety in the face of the awful vulnerability that new intimate connections evoke. "Our hearts beat as one. " "We're soul mates. " "We're so close that we complete each other's sentences. " "She really believes in me. " "He really me. " A severe limitation of empathy in intimate relationships is its susceptibility to the illusion of sameness. Women Can Sniff Out Men Without Knowing—And Vice Versa. The discovery adds another piece to the growing body of evidence that humans, much like the rest of the animal kingdom, know more from their noses than previously thought.
"We know that for animals, chemosignals are actually the most used signals to communicate, whereas with humans, we think chemosensation is not really used," said study leader Wen Zhou, a psychologist at the Chinese Academy of Sciences in Beijing. "But based on our experiences, they are still influenced by these cues, even if they don't explicitly know it. " In a recent experiment, subjects who smelled possible pheromones from the opposite sex were more likely to interpret ambiguous human figures as that sex—even when the participants didn't know they were smelling anything.
Pheromones—chemicals that can communicate sexual information—are widespread in the animal world, and some research suggests humans use them unconsciously as well. (See "Lesbians Respond Differently to 'Human Pheromones,' Study Says. " ) Les critères des femmes pour le choix d'un partenaire amoureux. Alors que des recherches ont suggéré que le type de relation (long terme ou court terme) que les femmes souhaitent influence les caractéristiques qu'elles recherchent pour le choix d'un partenaire, une récente étude de l'Université du Texas montre que leurs critères sont aussi influencés par leur propre attrait physique, ce qui serait beaucoup moins le cas des hommes.
David Buss et Todd K. Shackelford, chercheurs en psychologie évolutionniste, ont présenté leurs résultats dans la revue Evolutionary Psychology. Des chercheurs ont argumenté que les femmes souhaitant des partenaires à long terme recherchaient quelqu'un qui soit un bon pourvoyeur pour elle-même et leurs enfants, alors que les femmes souhaitant une relation à plus court-terme se préoccupaient plus de la masculinité et de l'attrait physique. Quatre catégories de caractéristiques que les femmes recherchent chez un partenaire ont été étudiées: Voyez du même chercheur, David Buss: Variété des motivations pour les relations sexuelles. Apparence physique et choix de partenaires. Comme partenaires pour les relations romantiques mais elles ont tendance à se tenir avec des personnes qui sont également plus attrayantes.
Le chercheur en marketing Leonard Lee de l'Université Columbia et ses collègues ont étudié le phénomène sur un site de rencontre où les membres peuvent noter les autres sur leur attrait physique. Ils ont analysé la base de données des demandes de rencontre et celle des évaluations d'attrait physique des autres membres. Les résultats, qui seront publiés dans la revue Psychological Science, montrent de façon consistante avec des recherches précédentes que les personnes d'attrait physique similaire ont tendance à se choisir.
Les membres avaient tendance à préférer rencontrer des personnes qui étaient modérément plus attrayantes qu'eux-mêmes. Comparativement aux femmes les hommes étaient plus influencés dans leurs choix par l'attrait physique des femmes et moins affectés par leur propre attrait. PsychoMédia avec source: Association for Psychological Science. What I Learned From My Bad Boyfriends. From my bad boyfriends, I learned that life is not easy and that relationships were not always emotionally safe. From my good boyfriends, I learned an even more daunting lesson: that the very promise of safety is an illusion. I learned that while some choices seem less dangerous than others, life is not ultimately a game of tag.
In this respect, boring boyfriends are indeed dangerous because they lead you to repeat mistakes with genuinely bad boyfriends. You're so thoroughly mind-numbingly dulled by your good boyfriend that the first time a bad boy with a sly grin rolls up his sleeves and looks your way, you throw your virtue, your conscience , and your sense of self-worth out the window along with your panties. That's the double meaning of getting caught: getting caught is great if you're falling, but it's terrible if you're running away. And it isn't as if it was easy to decide what choices to make, either. The right man at the wrong time is the wrong man. Do You Love in the Wrong Part of the Brain? If your love relationship keeps getting worse no matter what you do, you're probably trying to love in the wrong part of the brain. In that case, the subtext of the following will sound familiar, even if you don't use the exact words: "I would like you to do this," one of you says, meaning: " If you loved me you would do it.
" The other thinks, " If you loved me , you wouldn't ask me to do that. " " If you loved me , you would meet my needs . " "What about my needs ? " "Why can't you get me? " "Why do you have to control me? " High emotional reactivity is a hallmark of this type of conflict. The origins of the conflict go back to toddlerhood, with the emergence of a contradiction in human nature - the Grand Human Contradiction - our competing drives for autonomy (deciding our own thoughts, feelings, and behavior) and connection - relying on others with the same contradictory drives for love and support.
Toddlers have Needs, Adults have Desires Webinars. 5 Ways to Keep Your Love Alive. June is here and wedding music is in the air. As we share in ceremonies and watch couples embark on their life together, many tears are shed. I often wonder if perhaps some of us are crying for lost dreams of promised love as we recall our own chuppah moments. Marriages that we thought would last forever somehow did not.
And those that remain are often lacking. Marriage takes hard work. Who wants to live with a miserable, negative spouse? You can create joy by developing a positive eye and attitude. Love flourishes in a positive atmosphere. If you feel the rage that means it is NOT the time to speak about what’s bothering you. “That’s it. Though we try to explain ourselves later, (“I didn’t really mean it, I was just in a bad mood. ") the damage was done and deep wounds remain.
‘Ahavah’ is the Hebrew word for love. Too often we mistakenly believe that the more we get, the more we will come to love. Make your love grow by investing in your relationship. “Why can’t she ever be on time?”