6 Pro-Gay Marriage Arguments for Fighting With Crazy People. New York just legalized gay marriage in time for Pride Week, a cruelly timed challenge to monogamy for all the naked float dancers expecting a very different kind of happy ending. Civil rights and referendums go together like peanut butter and K-Y Jelly, and most politicans have the moral courage of a starving cockroach, but in a double rainbow miracle, they noticed a majority of New Yorkers think two loving adults should share a life together, unless they are the stars of The Bachelor, in which case, they are force-fed spiders. Us Weekly. More you than me, to be honest.Happiness is not recognizing anyone on the magazine covers Some ask, "Why is gay marriage such an important issue right now?
" The answer is, "So you don't notice the banks stealing your tax dollars. " And it's true that most Americans have nothing against gay men* even if they don't want their daughter marrying one. *Except that they lack breasts, which is a character flaw. Warner Bros. Woah! It's got to stop. Good! The 5 Least Romantic Keys to a Happy Relationship. Any old talk show psychologist can give you the business about date nights and fetish gear to keep the spark alive.
That's Talk Show Psychologist Tips For Romance 101. But it takes a ballsy renegade to have the guts to let you know that saving a relationship might be about imagining the most romantic solutions possible -- then doing the opposite. That ballsy renegade is us. #5. So it's been a long week at work, both of you are stressed out and when you do see each other, you end up fighting like rabid monkeys. GettyNo line to the women's toilets will ever come between you! Or not. Wait, What? This one sounds painfully obvious when explained, but we'll be damned if we can't think of a couple who doesn't make this mistake.
Studies show that it is actually better to keep your fun time separate, especially when it involves a hobby that one partner likes and the other just tolerates. GettyLike sleeping with other people. Getty"Wait, how did I get on this boat? Getty"Hey, honey. . #4. . #3. The Awful Secrets of 25 Famous Cartoon Characters. Cracked.com - America's Only Humor & Video Site Since 1958. 5 Mind Blowing Ways Your Memory Plays Tricks On You. Everybody will tell you that memory can't be trusted. When they say that, of course, what they mean is other people's memories can't be trusted. We don't like to think that everything we know about the world is based on a deeply flawed and illogical storage system. We're not talking about being bad at matching faces with names here. Science has found that your memory is basically a pathological liar, just making it up as it goes along.
For instance ... Other People Can Manipulate Your Memory With Repetition There was quite a stir recently when it turned out that a growing number of people believe the President of the USA is a Muslim. But according to the Pew Research Center, for almost 20% of the people they polled, those memories have been trumped by the mere act of hearing commentators assert that Obama is a Muslim, over and over and over.
Obama, posing with a statue of the famed Imam Ali bin Superman. They call it the "Illusion of Truth" effect. "Who would fake something like that? " 7 Terrifying Things They Don't Tell You About Pregnancy. Thanks to sitcoms, romantic comedies and our mother's cuss-filled horror stories, we all know pregnancy is no walk in the park. In fact, pregnancy can cause some horrible, horrible things, like inny belly buttons temporarily turning into outies and ugly-people-making. And then there's the stuff from a horror movie.
Here are seven bizarre symptoms pregnant women experience prior to giving birth that would make the rest of us think we were dying of a disease they're going to name after us. Hyperemesis Gravidarum In movies like Knocked Up, vomiting is a quick and tidy signal that the lady in question has a bun in the oven. "OK, puking is over, what's next in the manual? Anyone who's ever had a killer hangover or suffered through a raging flu has experienced the glory of constant nausea. Photos.comThis picture just made 418 pregnant women throw up on their keyboards. Now, picture getting that sick after every meal of every day for nine solid months. Getty"You know what? Via Dianelee.ca. 5 Movie Fan Theories That Make More Sense Than the Movie. At some point, we've all seen the finale of a TV show or movie and thought, "I could have written a better ending than that. " (We're still bitter about 24 not ending with Jack Bauer exploding from all the accumulated urine in his body, like our write-in campaign suggested.)
That's why there is a thriving culture of fan theories that flood the Internet in anticipation of every show, movie or book. Though these theories turn out to be wrong approximately 100% of the time, we like to point out the ones that really do seem to improve on what the actual writers came up with. Tell us the below movies or series wouldn't be improved if it turned out... (To watch Cracked improve Star Wars, click here.) In the world of Harry Potter, Neville Longbottom is the resident doofus. Also to make Harry Potter look like less of a dork in comparison. The Awesome Fan Theory: Basically, that Harry Potter dude was just a distraction. "Also, he'll have a goddamn sword. " *Ahem* What We Got Instead: So what gives?
5 Scientific Ways To Make Water Do Magic. Science has proven that much of the universe is made up of badassery. You can find it all around you, including in something as simple as water. You just need to know the tricks to unleash it. So here are some badass things you can do with water that seem to cross the line between science and magic. And best of all, they're all completely safe! Water Can Explode, With No Explosives OK, this one is incredibly dangerous.
This involves "superheating" water, by getting it way beyond the boiling point without having it actually boil. However, distilled water has no such minerals, and if you put it in a relatively smooth container and stick it in the microwave, the water can be heated beyond the normal boiling point and will remain perfectly still. Then, you toss in an object in and watch it explode: You're watching the boiling process happen all at once, in a fraction of a second, in a way that will result in boiling water flying back into your face. Water Can Climb Walls and make Bridges. The 6 Weirdest Jobs in China. There are some jobs every country has (cook, farmer, prostitute) and some jobs bred from unique cultural conditions in certain countries. For example: Only in America can you make a living selling trophies for champions of imaginary football leagues . I think it's worth taking a look at jobs that are particularly Chinese, especially since they are supposed to take over the world and we'll all be applying for these jobs soon enough.
Jobs like... "Face Jobs" For White People Just like Americans always need to find an Asian (any Asian) when they need a kung fu sidekick or villain for some hero, Chinese people need to find a white guy when they want to show off how big they are in business. It works like this - China doesn't actually want any foreign firms to come in and own anything in China, or plant their own companies, but they do very much want to deal with foreign firms and bring in their money. Getty "Hey, that guy looks like a CTO! " "Why don't you come over tonight? It could be worse. 25 Common Items that Will Baffle Future Archeologists Article. The 5 Most Depraved Sex Scenes Implied by 'Harry Potter' The Harry Potter series has sold billions of dollars worth of books, movie tickets and DVDs because it's one of those rare series that children can enjoy but won't make adults want to gouge out their eyes.
Author J.K. Rowling had a way of throwing a bone to the grown-ups here and there by slipping in sly little adult references along the way. It's usually done in subtext (like the elderly wizard Dumbledore's homosexual relationship with the male wizard Grindelwald), but sometimes it's right there in the open for anyone perceptive enough to get it. And sometimes, that shit gets nasty. #5. Via Wikimedia Commons Dolores Umbridge is perhaps the one person in the whole Harry Potter universe who is virtually impossible to like, no matter what angle you choose to piss on her from.
Via Hp-lexicon.orgShe's like Mussolini and your nosy old neighbor, all rolled into one. Well, unless you count the part where she is abducted and gang raped by centaurs in Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix. . #4. 5 Crucial Lessons Learned by Watching Kids Play Video Games. Watching my kids play video games is like watching a virgin fumble around with his first prostitute. You just want to put down the camera, strap on your dildo hat and say, "No, look, you do it like this.
" For a long time, I thought that they just sucked at gaming, and grounding them for in-game deaths obviously wasn't working. But the more I analyze their suck, the more I'm realizing that it's not their fault. It's the games themselves. And watching how the kids play -- and what they refuse to put up with -- will tell you everything you need to know about the future of gaming. They Don't Tolerate Losing, So Modern Games Just Let Them Win Let's face it, in the video game universe, death isn't what it used to be.
Go back a few years before that, and you find NES games that didn't even have the ability to save. Welcome back, asshole! Because of this (MMOs aside), I learned to pause my game frequently. In almost every modern game, death isn't shit. Why Do They Do It? What Does it Mean?