Ideas. Stories. How to Pitch a TV Show. How to Create a Hit Sitcom. Start drinking early. I don't mean early in the day. I mean early in life. Eight years old oughta do the trick. Heavy drinking isn't necessary. Your ability to make the big bucks as a sitcom writer is directly tied to the sickness of your parents. Fail to become a member of any group worth joining. Nurture your fear of women.
Don't start as a sitcom writer. Don't be afraid to experiment with soul-crushing poverty. Don't cheat yourself out of being a colitis patient in a rundown teaching hospital. Join a religious cult. Marry a woman who is beautiful, kind and loving and encourages you to drink. Have a kid when you're poor and uninsured. Walk in the first door that opens. Ignore your ignorance and make yourself irreplaceable. Eat staggering amounts of condescending shit from condescending assholes who don't have children and whose only hope of getting any is with candy and a panel truck.
Don't be complacent. Now that you're working it's easy to get an agent. Drink more. Quit drinking. Matthew Weiner, Vince Gilligan, and David Milch Interview - GQ June 2012: Movies + TV.