Children Are Tiny Sociopaths. The only thing worse than an egotistical person is one who’s also dumb (well, serial killers are pretty bad too I guess).
It’s a special brand of dumb, the kind of self-assured idiocy that cannot be deviated from its path, the perfect storm of personality flaws. It’s where ideas like homeopathic medicine and bodybuilding come from. And this is why I don’t particularly want children. Children are predominantly self-centered little idiots, and the fact that their brains are undeveloped or that they haven’t yet gleaned enough information from the world or haven’t had enough experiences makes no difference to me — they are what they are. I know this because I remember being a child, the dumbest most egotistical child imaginable. How To Be A Gangster In 20 Easy Steps. So you want to be a gangster, huh?
Well, you’ve come to the right place. I’ve got a résumé full of qualifications that certify my gangster label. I used college ruled paper in high school, watched PG-13 movies at age eight – hell, I even got banned from Chuck E. Large Penis Problem. If historical events had Facebook updates... I Hated Being Pregnant, and I Can't Wait to Do It Again. Image Credit: iStockphoto/Thinkstock When I first became pregnant, I couldn't wait to sprout the baby bump. Does She Love You? Have a question?
Need some advice? Ignored by everyone else? Send us your questions via email. The Non-Expert handles all subjects and is updated on Fridays, and is written by a member of The Morning News staff. Question: How do I know if a girl loves me or not? Answer: If one night you go out drinking and end up back at her place, pass out together on the bed with your shoes on, and wake up a few hours later only to discover that you’ve peed the bed, which she takes in stride, changes the sheets, and then the next morning has a laugh about it, later leaves some pamphlets from the local health clinic about child bedwetters in your mailbox, and eventually after a few weeks tells your friends but never, ever tells hers: She loves you.
If she knows what song is coming next on the mix CD you made her: She loves you. Geek_inside_maternity.jpg (JPEG Image, 400 × 531 pixels) Fridge-love_Brusse.jpg (JPEG Image, 640 × 845 pixels) - Scaled (70%) 'Funny' Military Acronyms [Archive] - Military Photos. Application for permission to date my daughter. 30 Best Infographic Guide And Tips Online About Dating. A great number of people worldwide tend to use the internet to find love and companionship through various online dating sites sending people on casual dates over lunch, brunch, or drinks after work. To attract online daters and contact them to express affection and interest, single men and women place their profile photos, sell their life’s resume, and socialize on various media.
This include Facebook which is a place where relationships and breakups are public like this “Facebook Big Bang Theory” on YouTube. Indeed, online dating is social networking but with a different goal in mind. Many claim that the wide geographic reach of online dating also reduces the odds of being humiliated. Easier to endure rejection from afar rather than have someone laugh directly in your face. The 12 Least Impressive Boasts in Rap Lyrics.
Rappers love to brag about all the fun stuff they get to do and all the cool people they get to meet.
And why wouldn't they? I'm sure having hoes in every area code is way more awesome than having a mortgage on a three-bedroom home in the suburbs or whatever other mundane achievement normal people strive for. But sometimes, those boasts stray into territory that seems anything but impressive. The 5 Most Badass Presidents of All-Time. Plenty of people know George Washington as the father of our country, but few people know, (and this is, perhaps, more important), just how similar he was in behavior to the Incredible Hulk.
Stay with us. As described by Thomas Jefferson, George Washington "was naturally irritable" and when his temper "broke its bonds, he was most tremendous in his wrath. " One time, in fact, he became "much inflamed [and] got into one of those passions when he cannot command himself. " Witnesses agreed that, after these sudden bursts of rage, Washington generally became calm and amiable again. Sound like anyone you know? Washington wasn't just a shirt-ripping comic book character waiting to happen, he was also an amazing general and, possibly, totally invincible. Though that isn't quite as catchy as "This is Sparta! " Greatest Display of Badassedry: Making America. Dear Non-Pregnant Person (Long but Hilarious) 8 rules for dating my daughter. This page is brought to you by UC Berkeley Parents Network Back to the Jokes & Quotes Collection 8 rules for dating my daughter Copyright 1999 W.
Bruce Cameron ==> Please do NOT remove the copyright from this essay! A Blog 4 Guys.com – You WILL Be Entertained!