The Best Pick-Up Lines We've Ever Heard. Robot tigers or Robobcats? I’m leaning toward the latter simply because they’d be easier to put in your carry-on luggage. Victor: One day I’m going to finish my robot tigers and we will rule the world. me: It’d be easier if you just took over the world with real tigers. Victor: Robot tigers are scarier than real tigers. me: No.
Real tigers are scarier because they’re unpredictable. Victor: My robot tigers have a random setting. me: Like a shuffle function on an iPod? Victor: Exactly. me: That is way scarier. Victor: Plus they could beat you at chess. me: Well, not me specifically. Victor: Not as good as a robot tiger. me: Live tigers are still scarier because they’re real and you know they hate you. Victor: My robot tiger would be a cold, calculating killing machine – set on random – that also has an emotion chip and laughs at your pain. me: That actually sounds scary as shit. Victor: I KNOW. Me: Imagine the synthesized growl you could put on that thing. Victor: “HA. Me: I am. Victor: My robot tiger has a random chess move ability generator. me: Well now we’re all fucked. Victor: The future is going to be scary. OMG. LOOK WHAT JUST CAME IN THE MAIL. Bkln Public Library Fail. Trebek Dog. X-Files in a nutshell. Spock Answering Machine. Vending Machine Stocks Cool, Refreshing Ice-T.
Lindsay Robertson - ksen: via The Gallery of Regrettable Food ... National Guard sought to create Superbad Superfly Pimp division. Hey thanks, Wikipedia. Unsuccessful treatment of writers block - a publication : Omni Brain. Giant Bunny Dominates the UK. What Stormtroopers Do On Their Day Off. Athena’s Pickle Juice Adventure. 1. Athena idly wonders what, in fact, a shot of pickle juice might taste like: 2. Enabled Encouraged by her idiot loving father, our young adventurer soon has a shot glass filled with briny liquid. 3. Down the hatch. 4. 5. 6. Join us next week, when we try a mayonnaise smoothie! This is Why I'll Never be an Adult. I have repeatedly discovered that it is important for me not to surpass my capacity for responsibility. Over the years, this capacity has grown, but the results of exceeding it have not changed. Normally, my capacity is exceeded gradually, through the accumulation of simple, daily tasks.
But a few times a year, I spontaneously decide that I'm ready to be a real adult. I don't know why I decide this; it always ends terribly for me. But I do it anyway. I sit myself down and tell myself how I'm going to start cleaning the house every day and paying my bills on time and replying to emails before my inbox reaches quadruple digits. Schedules are drafted. The first day or two of my plans usually goes okay. For a little while, I actually feel grown-up and responsible.
At some point, I start feeling self-congratulatory. This is a mistake. I begin to feel like I've accomplished my goals. What usually ends up happening is that I completely wear myself out. It always ends the same way. Getting Revenge on Zombies. CNR said... I die, I die, I die! This post is getting bookmarked for future hilarity. February 2, 2010 at 12:24 AM Matthew J Bevis said... My main concern with this forecast is not so much that the human population will have died out ... it's that we'll never get to watch the final season of LOST!
February 2, 2010 at 1:33 AM Zaedah said... I'm pleased that Tuesday night is, on the whole, canceled. February 2, 2010 at 4:11 AM Sarah P said... Damn it. February 2, 2010 at 5:06 AM Kurt said... I hate when they leave Snake Quality out of the forecast. February 2, 2010 at 5:35 AM Dennis said... AWESOME! February 2, 2010 at 7:01 AM publicknitting said... Wow, Atlanta is super unexciting. February 2, 2010 at 7:06 AM sarah said... ugh, 30% chance of snow tonight? February 2, 2010 at 7:07 AM ahschmidt said... Its still better than the weather in Chicago. February 2, 2010 at 8:21 AM sarah said... WTF do I wear to a firestorm? February 2, 2010 at 8:23 AM Elly Lou said... Gimme Zombies over snow any day. Allie said... Wow. Dan Brown, Annoying Facebook Friend. Butterball Help Line Help Line. Ultimate Battle: Snuggies vs Slankets vs Blankoats. Mr. Lightsaber President. Tetris love. Mmm... Killer Rabbits. Call Center Dude Rocks.
Bibliography yes. Please Do Not Block These Doors. Barack Obama Looking at Awesome Things. The Empire Strikes Barack.