Fostering Compersion: The Polyamorous Principle that Can Strengthen Any Relationship I was at a party recently where a poly pal was complaining about "the myth of the almighty compersion"--the phenomenon of being happy when your lover is getting pleasure from someone other than you.
He told me his new girlfriend of just four months had started dating another fellow and now had less time for him. "I am trying to be happy for her--but it feels about as good as the root canal I had last month. " This is the downer of ethical non-monogamy---your partner swept away with new relationship energy--you at home attempting to be a jolly poly good sport. Navigating Non Escalator Relationships. Aka “So, you’re in a non-escalator relationship- what now?”
(dedicated to ‘Alexander’) The most common script that we follow in relationships is that of the Relationship Escalator. And that’s a model that works for a lot of people. But, increasingly, people- especially in the non-monogamous community- are challenging that default script and exploring what it means to have relationships that are not on the Escalator. And, let’s be honest- most relationships you will experience in your life (including platonic ones) are not on an Escalator.
English Poly Stuff.