The magic button — Make Everything OK. 3719770_460s.jpg (460×4272) I forgot to send in my U.S. Census form. Am I in trouble. I'm afraid if you fail to file your Census form, you will not be counted amongst the general public.
Since you're not counted, you don't exist. FEMA Exterminators are usually sent within 30 days of lack of filing of the Census forms and unless you're ready for Guantanamo listen carefully. This will take courage and initiative so be ready. 30 days is the minimum wait period but since Obama's been in office FEMA's been busy...they won't publicly say what but whatever the case may be, that'll probably delay your FEMA Directive 84F Title 2 file from being filed for at least 60 days. What you need to do now is get $10,424.99 hard cash...I don't care how, just get it. Go to the nearest Post Office (avoid looking at cameras) and purchase the slowest possible A4 size envelope available. Get hold of a Census form and fill it out completely. Now you need to get mobile. Get a cab or take a bus to the nearest Internet Cafe. This next stage will be by far the most dangerous. Get to the office. "Diary of a Charmander" by Brad Einstein. Absence of the Towels. The ULTIMATE gag gift - SWEET revenge at its finest.
e5ddf69932c0553b2dda50ebeca48f56.jpg (600×534) Lego Black Ops. Tim Minchin's anti-woo poem, animated. 2010-09-14-657stop.gif (720×278) Galhofa Galhofanakis (Reference Copy) _llich61jAE1qddbe1o1_500.jpg (500×675) Bruiser: A street sweeper's tales. Premium Funny: Shakespeare Insult Kit. Wvwwdxmdxl9dwzlifgjkyaflo1_400jpg_jpeg.jpg (389×386) A Well-Planned Retirement - And no one even knows his name. Outside England's Bristol Zoo there is a parking lot for 150 cars and 8 buses.
For 25 years, its parking fees were managed by a very pleasant attendant. The fees were £1 for cars ($1.40), £5 for busses (about $7). Then, one day, after 25 solid years of never missing a day of work, he just didn't show up; so the Zoo Management called the City Council and asked it to send them another parking agent. The Council did some research and replied that the parking lot was the Zoo's own responsibility. The Zoo advised the Council that the attendant was a City employee. The City Council responded that the lot attendant had never been on the City payroll.
Meanwhile, sitting in his villa somewhere on the coast of Spain (or some such scenario), is a man who'd apparently had a ticket machine installed completely on his own; and then had simply begun to show up every day, commencing to collect and keep the parking fees, estimated at about $560 per day -- for 25 years. And no one even knows his name. 20 Ways To Maintain A Healthy Level of Insanity.
At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and Point A Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down. 2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.