writing

WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD??? Plato: For the greater good. Aristotle: To fulfill its nature on the other side. Karl Marx: It was a historical inevitability. Machiavelli: So that its subjects will view it with admiration, as a chicken which has the daring and courage to boldly cross the road, but also with fear, for whom among them has the strength to contend with such a paragon of avian virtue? HUMOR: Chicken Philosophy

Politics Explained FEUDALISM: You have two cows. Your lord takes some of the milk. PURE SOCIALISM: You have two cows. The government takes them and puts them in a barn with everyone else's cows.

TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM -- You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income. The Manbottle Library - Capitalism and Cows

Many, many years ago, these two watertowers used to be friends, great friends. But after the Good Watertower got her beautiful new paint job and her snazzy Plover logo, the Evil Watertower became angry. The Good Watertower has serviced Plover with drinking water for a number of years and is loved by her customers. The Evil Watertower has worked for a factory all his life, where he has been abused, and even worse in his eyes, taken for granted . The Evil Watertower then started conspiring to take over the factory and the world. Then, he will no longer be ignored and taken for granted. Good Watertower, EVIL WATERTOWER

Assume you are a Chinese immigrant... - Ferreira's dump

McSweeney's Internet Tendency: Nietzsche's Angel Food Cake. 1. Allow the angel to reach room temperature. Then kill it. 2. Kill God.

Michael Bay's Rejected "The Dark Knight" Script (Parody) (I can't believe I need to tell you dudes this but:) In case there is anybody out there who did not know this, this script is a parody. par·o·dy: 1. a literary work in which the style of an author or work is closely imitated for comic effect Apparently, Michael Bay wrote an unsolicited script for The Dark Knight that was ultimately rejected by Warner Bros.

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Math Phys Eng Fire An engineer is working at his desk in his office. His cigarette falls off the desk into the wastebasket, causing the papers within to burst into flames.

KR Blog ? STEPHEN KING

Finally, a definition of globalization that one can understand and to which we now can relate: Question: What is the truest definition of Globalization ? Answer: Tragically, Princess Diana’s death. Question: What Is Globalization?

Josh's Immune System does not level up. Continues puking Pokeballs. - (facebookingfail)

They say math's the universal language, but this is all gibberish to me.

One day in 1939, Berkeley doctoral candidate George Dantzig arrived late for a statistics class taught by Jerzy Neyman. He copied down the two problems on the blackboard and turned them in a few days later, apologizing for the delay — he’d found them unusually difficult. Distracted, Neyman told him to leave his homework on the desk. The Value of Tardiness

Chapter and Verse As he was visiting his parishioners one Saturday afternoon, a new pastor stopped at one house and found that no one answered the door. It was clear that someone was home, but he knocked repeatedly and no one appeared. Finally he pulled out his card, wrote “Revelation 3:20″ on the back, and left it in the door. That Sunday he found the card in the collection basket. Below his message someone had written “Genesis 3:10.” Revelation 3:20 reads, “Behold I stand at the door, and knock: if any man hear my voice, and open the door, I will come in to him, and will dine with him, and he with me.”

Midwest Sports Fans A sports blog by and for Midwest Sports Fans Enjoy this quintessential example of the random, hilarious, clever brilliance of the Interwebs (courtesy of Reddit) April 4, 2011 By Jerod Morris 4 Comments This needs no introduction, except for me to say that it’s not about sports. But it’s uproariously funny. Hilarious "I like big butts and I cannot lie, but is there some evolutionary reason why" Reddit thread