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WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD??? Plato: For the greater good. Aristotle: To fulfill its nature on the other side. Karl Marx: It was a historical inevitability. Machiavelli: So that its subjects will view it with admiration, as a chicken which has the daring and courage to boldly cross the road, but also with fear, for whom among them has the strength to contend with such a paragon of avian virtue?
HUMOR: Chicken Philosophy
Politics Explained
FEUDALISM: You have two cows. Your lord takes some of the milk. PURE SOCIALISM: You have two cows. The government takes them and puts them in a barn with everyone else's cows.
TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM -- You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income.
The Manbottle Library - Capitalism and Cows
Many, many years ago, these two watertowers used to be friends, great friends. But after the Good Watertower got her beautiful new paint job and her snazzy Plover logo, the Evil Watertower became angry. The Good Watertower has serviced Plover with drinking water for a number of years and is loved by her customers. The Evil Watertower has worked for a factory all his life, where he has been abused, and even worse in his eyes, taken for granted . The Evil Watertower then started conspiring to take over the factory and the world. Then, he will no longer be ignored and taken for granted.
Good Watertower, EVIL WATERTOWER
McSweeney's Internet Tendency: Nietzsche's Angel Food Cake.
4. Ecstatically whip, as if possessed by a storm-wind of freedom, 1-1/2 cups of excellent egg whites with 1/4 tsp. salt and 1-1/2 tsp. cream of tartar. Continue until peaks are as if raised to their own heights and given wings in a fine air, a robust air. 10. While prancing about in a frenzy of self-satisfaction and anticipation, use a rubber scraper to push the überbatter into an ungreased 10" tube pan, for it is destined to be there.
Michael Bay's Rejected "The Dark Knight" Script (Parody) - The Spill Movie Community
Apparently, Michael Bay wrote an unsolicited script for The Dark Knight that was ultimately rejected by Warner Bros. Though this is the first I’ve heard of it, I have the exclusive leaked images to back it up.
Math Phys Eng
Fire An engineer is working at his desk in his office. His cigarette falls off the desk into the wastebasket, causing the papers within to burst into flames.
An English princess with an Egyptian boyfriend crashes in a French tunnel, driving a German car with a Dutch engine, driven by a Belgian who was drunk on Scottish whiskey, that uses Taiwanese chips and a Korean monitor, assembled by Bangladeshi workers in a Singapore plant; transported by Indian lorry-drivers, hijacked by Indonesians, unloaded by Sicilian longshoremen and trucked to you by illegal Mexican workers…
What Is Globalization? - Global One TV
Josh's Immune System does not level up. Continues puking Pokeballs. - (facebookingfail)
About: Facebooking Fail, This is a site to submit all those great, funny, lame and fail screen shots of facebook fails. Of course the more screen shots of facebookers being failbookers the better. So help us spread the word by becoming a facebooking fail fan on facebook. Let's find all the facebook fail screen shots out there!
So the office assistants (OAs) played a prank on us, the resident advisors (RAs). They asked us to play some game with them at 9:30pm "real quick." When the game started we were immediately bombarded with water balloons and sprayed with super soakers.
They say math's the universal language, but this is all gibberish to me. - CollegeHumor Picture
One day in 1939, Berkeley doctoral candidate George Dantzig arrived late for a statistics class taught by Jerzy Neyman. He copied down the two problems on the blackboard and turned them in a few days later, apologizing for the delay — he’d found them unusually difficult. Distracted, Neyman told him to leave his homework on the desk.