HUMOR: Chicken Philosophy. WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD???
Plato: For the greater good. Aristotle: To fulfill its nature on the other side. Karl Marx: It was a historical inevitability. Machiavelli: So that its subjects will view it with admiration, as a chicken which has the daring and courage to boldly cross the road, but also with fear, for whom among them has the strength to contend with such a paragon of avian virtue? In such a manner is the princely chicken's dominion maintained. This page was created by David Saum. Politics Explained. FEUDALISM: You have two cows.
Your lord takes some of the milk. PURE SOCIALISM: You have two cows. The government takes them and puts them in a barn with everyone else's cows. You have to take care of all of the cows. The government gives you as much milk as you need. BUREAUCRATIC SOCIALISM: You have two cows. Capitalism and Cows. TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM -- You have two cows.
You sell one and buy a bull. Good Watertower, EVIL WATERTOWER. Many, many years ago, these two watertowers used to be friends, great friends.
But after the Good Watertower got her beautiful new paint job and her snazzy Plover logo, the Evil Watertower became angry. The Good Watertower has serviced Plover with drinking water for a number of years and is loved by her customers. The Evil Watertower has worked for a factory all his life, where he has been abused, and even worse in his eyes, taken for granted. The Evil Watertower then started conspiring to take over the factory and the world. Then, he will no longer be ignored and taken for granted. Assume you are a Chinese immigrant... - Ferreira's dump.
McSweeney's Internet Tendency: Nietzsche's Angel Food Cake. Michael Bay's Rejected "The Dark Knight" Script (Parody) Fn.91.jpg (JPEG Image, 640x620 pixels) Math Phys Eng. Fire An engineer is working at his desk in his office.
His cigarette falls off the desk into the wastebasket, causing the papers within to burst into flames. The engineer looks around, sees a fire extinguisher, grabs it, puts out the flames, and goes back to work. A physicist is working at his desk in another office and the same thing happens. He looks at the fire, looks at the fire extinguisher, and thinks "Fire requires fuel plus oxygen plus heat. A mathematician is working at his desk in another office and the same thing happens. Woman in a bar A mathematician and an engineer are sitting at a table drinking when a very beautiful woman walks in and sits down at the bar.
The mathematician sighs. The engineer gets up and starts walking. Prime numbers A mathematician, physicist, and engineer are taking a math test. The mathematician thinks, "3 is prime, 5 is prime, 7 is prime, 9 is not prime -- nope, not all odd numbers are prime. " Sheep in Scotland Hunting The statistician yells "We got him! " What Is Globalization? Finally, a definition of globalization that one can understand and to which we now can relate: Question: What is the truest definition of Globalization?
Answer: Tragically, Princess Diana’s death. Question: Josh's Immune System does not level up. Continues puking Pokeballs. - (facebookingfail) They say math's the universal language, but this is all gibberish to me. The Value of Tardiness. One day in 1939, Berkeley doctoral candidate George Dantzig arrived late for a statistics class taught by Jerzy Neyman.
He copied down the two problems on the blackboard and turned them in a few days later, apologizing for the delay — he’d found them unusually difficult. Distracted, Neyman told him to leave his homework on the desk. On a Sunday morning six weeks later, Neyman knocked on Dantzig’s door. The problems that Dantzig had assumed were homework were actually unproved statistical theorems that Neyman had been discussing with the class — and Dantzig had proved both of them.
Both were eventually published, with Dantzig as coauthor. “When I began to worry about a thesis topic,” he recalled later, “Neyman just shrugged and told me to wrap the two problems in a binder and he would accept them as my thesis.” Chapter and Verse. Hilarious "I like big butts and I cannot lie, but is there some evolutionary reason why" Reddit thread.