HUMOR: Chicken Philosophy. WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD??? Plato: For the greater good. Aristotle: To fulfill its nature on the other side. Karl Marx: It was a historical inevitability. Machiavelli: So that its subjects will view it with admiration, as a chicken which has the daring and courage to boldly cross the road, but also with fear, for whom among them has the strength to contend with such a paragon of avian virtue? In such a manner is the princely chicken's dominion maintained. Hippocrates: Because of an excess of light pink gooey stuff in its pancreas. This page was created by David Saum. Politics Explained. FEUDALISM: You have two cows. Your lord takes some of the milk. PURE SOCIALISM: You have two cows. The government takes them and puts them in a barn with everyone else's cows. You have to take care of all of the cows. The government gives you as much milk as you need. BUREAUCRATIC SOCIALISM: You have two cows.
FASCISM: You have two cows. PURE COMMUNISM: You have two cows. RUSSIAN COMMUNISM: You have two cows. CAMBODIAN COMMUNISM: You have two cows. DICTATORSHIP: You have two cows. PURE DEMOCRACY: You have two cows. REPRESENTATIVE DEMOCRACY: You have two cows. BUREAUCRACY: You have two cows. PURE ANARCHY: You have two cows. LIBERTARIAN/ANARCHO-CAPITALISM: You have two cows. SURREALISM: You have two giraffes. (Original source unknown . . . this version expanded and Illuminated by SJ.) Capitalism and Cows. TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM -- You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income.
AN AMERICAN CORPORATION -- You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. FRENCH CORPORATION -- You have two cows. A JAPANESE CORPORATION -- You have two cows. A GERMAN CORPORATION -- You have two cows. A BRITISH CORPORATION -- You have two cows. AN ITALIAN CORPORATION -- You have two cows, but you don't know where they are. A RUSSIAN CORPORATION -- You have two cows. A SWISS CORPORATION -- You have 5000 cows, none of which belong to you. A HINDU CORPORATION -- You have two cows.
A CHINESE CORPORATION -- You have two cows. AN ARKANSAS CORPORATION -- You have two cows. ENRON CORPORATION -- You have two cows. ARTHUR ANDERSON, LLC -- You have 2 cows. Good Watertower, EVIL WATERTOWER. Many, many years ago, these two watertowers used to be friends, great friends. But after the Good Watertower got her beautiful new paint job and her snazzy Plover logo, the Evil Watertower became angry. The Good Watertower has serviced Plover with drinking water for a number of years and is loved by her customers. The Evil Watertower has worked for a factory all his life, where he has been abused, and even worse in his eyes, taken for granted. The Evil Watertower then started conspiring to take over the factory and the world. Then, he will no longer be ignored and taken for granted. These plans have been put in motion and should not be taken lightly.
Have you ever misplaced your keys, or forgotten something at the grocery store? Assume you are a Chinese immigrant... - Ferreira's dump. McSweeney's Internet Tendency: Nietzsche's Angel Food Cake. 1. Allow the angel to reach room temperature. Then kill it. 2. Kill God. Set Him aside. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. 10. 11. 12. 13. 14. Michael Bay's Rejected "The Dark Knight" Script (Parody) Fn.91.jpg (JPEG Image, 640x620 pixels) Math Phys Eng. Fire An engineer is working at his desk in his office. His cigarette falls off the desk into the wastebasket, causing the papers within to burst into flames. The engineer looks around, sees a fire extinguisher, grabs it, puts out the flames, and goes back to work.
A physicist is working at his desk in another office and the same thing happens. A mathematician is working at his desk in another office and the same thing happens. Woman in a bar A mathematician and an engineer are sitting at a table drinking when a very beautiful woman walks in and sits down at the bar. The mathematician sighs. The engineer gets up and starts walking. Prime numbers A mathematician, physicist, and engineer are taking a math test. The mathematician thinks, "3 is prime, 5 is prime, 7 is prime, 9 is not prime -- nope, not all odd numbers are prime. " The physicist thinks, " 3 is prime, 5 is prime, 7 is prime, 9 is not prime -- that could be experimental error -- 11 is prime, 13 is prime, yes, they're all prime. " Fence. What Is Globalization? Finally, a definition of globalization that one can understand and to which we now can relate: Question: What is the truest definition of Globalization? Answer: Tragically, Princess Diana’s death.
Question: Why? An English princess with an Egyptian boyfriend crashes in a French tunnel, driving a German car with a Dutch engine, driven by a Belgian who was drunk on Scottish whiskey, followed closely by Italian paparazzi on Japanese motorcycles; treated by an American doctor, using Brazilian medicines. This is sent to you by an American, using Bill Gate’s technology and you are probably reading this on your computer, that uses Taiwanese chips and a Korean monitor, assembled by Bangladeshi workers in a Singapore plant; transported by Indian lorry-drivers, hijacked by Indonesians, unloaded by Sicilian longshoremen and trucked to you by illegal Mexican workers… And that is what Globalization is. ~ source unknown ~
Josh's Immune System does not level up. Continues puking Pokeballs. - (facebookingfail) They say math's the universal language, but this is all gibberish to me. The Value of Tardiness. Chapter and Verse. Hilarious "I like big butts and I cannot lie, but is there some evolutionary reason why" Reddit thread.