WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD??? Plato: For the greater good. Aristotle: To fulfill its nature on the other side. Karl Marx: It was a historical inevitability. Machiavelli: So that its subjects will view it with admiration, as a chicken which has the daring and courage to boldly cross the road, but also with fear, for whom among them has the strength to contend with such a paragon of avian virtue? HUMOR: Chicken Philosophy
Politics Explained FEUDALISM: You have two cows. Your lord takes some of the milk. PURE SOCIALISM: You have two cows. The government takes them and puts them in a barn with everyone else's cows.
TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM -- You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income. The Manbottle Library - Capitalism and Cows
Many, many years ago, these two watertowers used to be friends, great friends. But after the Good Watertower got her beautiful new paint job and her snazzy Plover logo, the Evil Watertower became angry. The Good Watertower has serviced Plover with drinking water for a number of years and is loved by her customers. The Evil Watertower has worked for a factory all his life, where he has been abused, and even worse in his eyes, taken for granted. The Evil Watertower then started conspiring to take over the factory and the world. Then, he will no longer be ignored and taken for granted. Good Watertower, EVIL WATERTOWER
Assume you are a Chinese immigrant... - Ferreira's dump
McSweeney's Internet Tendency: Nietzsche's Angel Food Cake. 1. Allow the angel to reach room temperature. Then kill it. 2. Kill God.
Michael Bay's Rejected "The Dark Knight" Script (Parody) The Biggest Box-Office Bombs of 2013 Have We Reached Britney Saturation?
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Math Phys Eng Fire An engineer is working at his desk in his office. His cigarette falls off the desk into the wastebasket, causing the papers within to burst into flames.
Finally, a definition of globalization that one can understand and to which we now can relate: Question: What is the truest definition of Globalization? Answer: Tragically, Princess Diana’s death. Question: What Is Globalization?
Josh's Immune System does not level up. Continues puking Pokeballs. - (facebookingfail)
They say math's the universal language, but this is all gibberish to me.
One day in 1939, Berkeley doctoral candidate George Dantzig arrived late for a statistics class taught by Jerzy Neyman. He copied down the two problems on the blackboard and turned them in a few days later, apologizing for the delay — he’d found them unusually difficult. Distracted, Neyman told him to leave his homework on the desk. The Value of Tardiness
Chapter and Verse
Hilarious "I like big butts and I cannot lie, but is there some evolutionary reason why" Reddit thread