How to Do What You Love - Leigh Newman. Dreams you can never give up on. Never give up on the dream of finding someone who fits your personality. Take the little things in your life and make it a big part of your existenceShorten the length of your stay or replace the destination to make that life-changing tripDreams are also part reality, and reality gives you plenty of chances to rise to the occasion (Oprah.com) -- As life goes on, it may finally dawn on you: You're not going to win the Olympic gold in figure skating or discover a new species of toucan in the Brazilian rainforest. But there are other valid insane dreams, says columnist Leigh Newman, that you absolutely must pursue. 1.The dream of the (tiny little) thing you were meant to do At times, the big yucky struggle of our life direction and purpose (which, by the way, is the most important struggle in our lives) is just too big and yucky to contemplate. Take a day off. Figure out the tiny little thing you were meant do.
My friend Rachel was meant to dance in nightclubs. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. He stood up. 7. How to Do What You Love - Leigh Newman. How to Increase the Love in Your Life - Brene Brown. Doing Self Better. ~ Dr. Jeffrey Rubin, Joel Kramer & Dr. Diana Alstad. Pitfalls of Unlivable Spiritual Ideals. Eliminating selfish behaviors is an important part of most religious ethics.
Many religions assume that when human beings are left to themselves, they will be destructively egotistical—even evil. In the face of this, spiritual and religious teachings traditionally prescribe selflessness. In Ethics for a New Millennium, for example, the Dalai Lama, the spiritual head of Tibetan Buddhism, recommends that we put the other first as an antidote to the narcissism that haunts our world. In a similar vein, “we are accustomed in the Judeo-Christian tradition to believe that we should renounce the ego, sacrifice it, forsake it,” psychoanalyst Ann Ulanov writes in The Wisdom of the Psyche. “Anything less is thought to be selfish, if not downright evil.” Many people believe that to be self-centered is sinful and to be self-less is virtuous. Self-centeredness is actually necessary and healthy for a person’s development. Many of us are trapped in a narrow identity. Laurie Gerber: 5 Blunders That Kill Your Happiness.
I believe we were meant to be happy. I am also pretty certain it was meant to be a challenge to get and stay happy, or else we'd take it for granted and get bored. So then, life is about the pursuit of happiness. I used to be generally unhappy, and now I am generally happy, so I feel obliged to teach you about some blunders you can avoid in your happiness pursuits! 5 Blunders That Kill Your Happiness: Loading Slideshow 1. You Don't Have A DreamAs kids, most of us dream boldly and publicly. 5 Mistakes Getting In The Way Of Your Happiness 1 of 6 Hide Thumbnails Love, Laurie If you are still stuck in money, career, body, love, family relationships or just general happiness, the Life Coaching Crash Course is the place to rethink your approach, learn to dream again, bust your excuses, plan your future, learn to speak up with grace and get clarity about and strength from your past.
For more by Laurie Gerber, click here. For more on happiness, click here. Heidi Grant Halvorson, Ph.D.: You Are (Probably) Wrong About You. If you want to be more successful -- at anything -- than you are right now, you need to know yourself and your skills. And when you fall short of your goals, you need to know why. This should be no problem; after all, who knows you better than you do? And yet your own ratings of your personality traits -- for instance, how open-minded, conscientious, or impulsive you are -- correlate with the impressions of other people (who know you well) at around .40.
In other words, how you see yourself and how other people see you are only very modestly correlated. Who's right? Who knows you best? Well, the research suggests that they do -- other people's assessment of your personality predicts your behavior, on average, better than your assessment does. At the root of the problem is the human brain itself. Why would our brains work this way? If we are going to ever improve performance, we need to place blame where it belongs. This post appeared originally on HBR.org. Sri Sri Ravi Shankar: Intention, Attention and Manifestation. The association of a particular sense object over and over again creates a sense of craving for it.
If you are used to drinking coffee every morning, then even though you are not born with a coffee fervor you have begun a habit within you that has created a craving. How did it all start? The habit of drinking coffee didn't happen in one day! Addiction starts with a repeated experience of a particular object. It becomes a habit -- and the nature of habit is that it does not give you joy. It gives pain. Therefore, drinking coffee will not carry you to heaven but if you don't have it, it can give you hell! The repeated experience or association of a particular sense object makes you want it more.
So you get angry with somebody. When your nervous system assumes either of the forms, it becomes like that and you get drawn to those kind of people. With a clouded intellect, the memory of pleasant things is lost. Whereever you put your attention, that will start manifesting in your life. Gretchen Rubin: To Be Happier, Write Your Own Set of Personal Commandments. One of the most challenging -- and most helpful and fun -- tasks that I've done as part of my Happiness Project is to write my 12 Personal Commandments. These aren't specific resolutions, like make my bed, but the overarching principles by which I try to live my life. It took me several months to come up with this list, and it has been very useful for me to have them identified clearly in my mind.
It's a creative way of distilling core values. To get you started as you think about your own commandments, here are my 12 Commandments: 1. Be Gretchen. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. 10. 11. 12. So how do you come up with your own list? Consider phrases that have stuck with you. Aim high and fight the urge to be too comprehensive. Think about what's true for you. I've written about commandments in the past, and it's fascinating to read other people's commandments. Do stuff. Have you identified some of your own personal commandments? I'm working on my Happiness Project, and you could have one, too! Martin Boroson: High-Intensity Interval Training for the Mind.
According to this article in the New York Times this week, "How 1-Minute Intervals Can Improve Your Health," high-intensity interval training (HIIT) has significant physiological benefits. HIIT is an approach to exercise that involves alternating short, intense bursts of exercise with equally short rest periods -- for example, one minute on and one minute off -- for a total of about 20 minutes. Although athletes have been using HIIT to boost speed and endurance, according to new research, HIIT has other benefits, too. These include the improvement of blood sugar regulation and insulin sensitivity, improvement in the functioning of the blood vessels and heart, lowering the risk of developing Type 2 diabetes, and the "creation of far more cellular proteins involved in energy production and oxygen.
" The most attractive thing about HIIT, however, has to do with its user-friendliness. Indeed, rather than being additive, one-moment meditation is actually subtractive. Dreams you can never give up on. Never give up on the dream of finding someone who fits your personality. Take the little things in your life and make it a big part of your existenceShorten the length of your stay or replace the destination to make that life-changing tripDreams are also part reality, and reality gives you plenty of chances to rise to the occasion (Oprah.com) -- As life goes on, it may finally dawn on you: You're not going to win the Olympic gold in figure skating or discover a new species of toucan in the Brazilian rainforest. But there are other valid insane dreams, says columnist Leigh Newman, that you absolutely must pursue. 1.The dream of the (tiny little) thing you were meant to do At times, the big yucky struggle of our life direction and purpose (which, by the way, is the most important struggle in our lives) is just too big and yucky to contemplate.
My friend Rachel was meant to dance in nightclubs. Find your one tiny little thing and make it a big part of your existence. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. 31 Life Lessons in 31 Years. Waking up this morning, I smile. Twenty-four brand new hours are before me. I vow to live fully in each moment... ~Thich Nhat Hanh Today, I turn 31. When I was little, I used to think people in their 30s were really old. Standing where I am today, I still feel like a little kid, except I’m doing my best in playing the part of an adult–trying to fit in with other grown-ups, and subsequently hiding the little kid within. Having been obsessed with the topic of happiness and personal development over the past seven years (holy crap!) It is in the innocent wonder and the in-this-moment presence of the child where lies the secret to happiness.
Here are 31 life lessons I’ve learned, standing here today as a (slightly wiser) 31-year-old. 31 Life Lessons 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. 10. 11. 12. 13. 14. 15. 16. 17. 18. 19. 20. 21. 22. 23. 24. 25. 26. 27. 28. 29. 30. 31. Bonus Life Lessons I started with a big list of life lessons, then I started trimming until I was left with 31. 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8.
Rhoda P. Curtis: What We Learn as We Age. A friend asked me what I had learned over 94 years of intense living. What a question! Since I will be 94 on Feb. 21, she thought it was time I gave the idea some attention. Actually, the only thing I can say I've learned is: "No experience is wasted. " And that has become my mantra. "If only... " is a fantasy. I remember a film called Outward Bound (1930), which I saw in 1944. When I reflected on all the "mistakes" I made during my lifetime, I decided to let go of the "If only... " fantasy.
I don't regret any of it, and that's the key. Age, of itself, is not a good measure of learning. Donald Hall, in a recent article in The New Yorker magazine (Jan. 23), writes about being old and sitting reflectively in front of a window in his house, watching the weather change and enjoying the interactions between the birds, squirrels and cats he observes. However, being pushed around an art gallery, and driven places by somebody makes me feel privileged! • "If only" is a fantasy; Rhoda P. Arthur Rosenfeld: The Simple Life.
"You're such a complicated person. " "This is a complex deal. " "It's complicated. You wouldn't understand. " In our speed-and-greed anti-culture, the words complex and complicated, and the nuances and layers the words evoke, have reached a kind of cult status. Being complicated means you have depth, smarts, education, your fingers in a lot of pies, many people in your life, prospects and more than a few pots on the burner. The people our media adulates, and thus the folks many of us look up to, are people with complex deals in the offing, complex living arrangements, complicated travel schedules, complicated contracts and options and complex choices to make. A complicated relationship is, despite the suggestion of unrequited love and underlying angst, the kind most of us have with our loved ones, or those we would love. And yet there is no spiritual tradition that advocates a complicated life. Are you aware that your life has become too complicated?
Start with the easy part. Levi Ben-Shmuel: Growth and Comfort: How Uncomfortable Are You Willing to Be? While watching Roger Federer lose his recent Australian Open semifinal to Raphael Nadal, I was struck by his seeming unwillingness to play the obvious strategy to have the best chance at winning. (The current world number one, Novak Djokovic, showed Federer and the world a successful way to do it last year.)
After the match was over, I thought about how Roger played it. Did he feel by not playing his usual game, there was no joy in playing? Or, was he unwilling to consistently leave his comfort zone, to go into uncharted territory, and perhaps find victory there? I will never know what was going on in Roger Federer's head. And, it is hard to criticize him due to the level of success he has achieved in his professional life. It is all too easy to repeat what for the most part is working. Growth requires us to test the boundaries of what is known.
One wonderful thing about staying in the discomfort zone is the chance to explore who we think we are. For more by Levi Ben-Shmuel, click here. Rick Hanson, Ph.D.: See Beings Not Bodies. What happens when you look at someone? The Practice: See beings, not bodies. Why? When we encounter someone, usually the mind automatically slots the person into a category: man, woman, your friend Tom, the kid next door, etc. Watch this happen in your own mind as you meet or talk with a co-worker, salesclerk or family member. In effect, the mind summarizes and simplifies tons of details into a single thing -- a human thing to be sure, but one with an umbrella label that makes it easy to know how to act. For example: "Oh, that's my boss (or mother-in-law, or boyfriend, or traffic cop, or waiter)... This labeling process is fast, efficient, and gets to the essentials. On the other hand, categorizing has lots of problems. Flip it around, too: what's it like for you when you can tell that another person has slotted you into some category?
How? This practice can get abstract or intellectual, so try to bring it down to earth and close to your experience. For more on mindfulness, click here. Aaron Anson: Minding Your Own Life. I've always been fascinated by the slogan of the United Negro College Fund: "A mind is a terrible thing to waste. " While they are speaking of an education in the academic sense, I'd like to give this saying a more literal application. Our minds are the most amazing part of ourselves. We often think of ourselves as our physical bodies. But since our bodies are physical in nature and will one day decompose, it's not fair to call ourselves our bodies. Yes, your mind is the one unique thing that distinguishes you as individual, and your mind is the ultimate connection to the universe.
We were born without knowledge. Everything we know and believe is a result of our learning environment. With everything we've learned, it's disappointing that very little emphasis is given to teaching us how to think on our own. In 1984, the Los Angeles Times published an article revealing how the U.S. dealt with a surplus of cows' milk. Mind control of this sort goes on every day. Russell Bishop: Soul-Talk: What Can You Do With All That Upset? How much upset have you experienced in your life so far? How much more upset would you like to endure going forward? Bizarre questions, perhaps, and yet if you are willing to dig into them a bit, you might be able to dig out from under all that hurt and upset in your life. Undoubtedly, you have experienced all manner of upsets in your life, some that came seemingly out of nowhere, and some that have been of your own making.
It's this last statement that some will find even more upsetting, while others will find it liberating. If it's upset you seek, you need read no further, for upset has already been won. As much as you may find it apparently useful to blame me or someone else for your upset, the truth of the matter is that you are the one who authors your own upset. From Upset to Liberation If you're not already completely pissed off, let's dig into this notion of how you author your own upset and see if you can discover some keys to your own liberation. Was It Me or Someone Else? Dennis Merritt Jones: Are You Hoping 'Things' Will Magically Change in the New Year? How to Cure Your Money Comparisonitis | Life & Money | Psychology Of Money. Mark L. Walberg: What I've Learned On Antiques Roadshow.
Mark Nepo: The One Conversation: 'We Are Each Born With a Gift and an Emptiness' Mondays Mindful Quote: Dalai Lama on Kindness. Home | Beyond Intractability. Laurie Gerber: Gravitate Toward What You Hate. Lauren Mackler: Mastering the Art of Resilience. 10 Ways To Live Longer. Anne Day: Forget New Year Resolutions, Just Focus on Three Words. The No-Resolution Resolution: How to Really Be Happy in 2012 - Lifestyle. Amy Elias, MS: WHiP It! The Truth Of The Matter. Nurse reveals the top 5 regrets people make on their deathbed | Caroline Nettle. Sleep is More Important than Food - Tony Schwartz. Sam Sommers: Self-Help Is for Suckers. Rick Hanson, Ph.D.: 10 Steps to Forgiving Yourself. Jon Kabat-Zinn, Ph.D.: Adjusting Your Default Setting. Deepak Chopra: Why Do Bad Things Happen? (Part 3) Rod Stryker: The 6-Point Method for Breaking Unhealthy Habits. Christina Patterson: Why Leonardo Thought He Wasn't Good Enough. Marie Pasinski, M.D.: 5 Ways to Nourish Your Mind This Thanksgiving.
Ocean Robbins: The Neuroscience of Why Gratitude Makes Us Healthier. Michael Sigman: What's Wrong With America's Obsession With Goals. Dr. Judith Rich: What to Do When You Don't Know What to Do Next. How To Know Yourself. Ignorance Isn't Bliss. Dr. John Grohol: 5 Tips to Increase Your Life's Happiness. Susan Kaiser Greenland: Making Happiness a Habit Through Mindfulness.
Allan Lokos: Patience Is the Key to Happiness (And How to Cultivate It) Russell Bishop: Self-Talk Vs Soul-Talk: Is It All Just Psychobabble? Gandhi’s top 10 « Paulo Coelho's Blog. Meryl Davids Landau: 5 Things I Learned From Great Spiritual Masters.
Spiritual Philosophy. Yoga Practice. Mindfulness Bell. Building Relationship.