Positive Attitude: 6 Ways to Become More Optimistic. Some people see the world through a filter of optimism: They always make lemonade from the lemons, no matter what happens. Others see the world through a filter of pessimism; they always find the cloud in the silver lining. It's a truism of life that the optimists are always more successful than the pessimists, but that raises a crucial questions: how can you change your attitude to be more optimistic? The answer? Change the words that you use every day to describe your experience. Here are some quick language tricks that can change your attitude. 1. Stop using negative phrases ... such as "I can't," "It's impossible," or "This won't work. " 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. Rules 1 through 4 came from Jeff Keller, author of the bestseller Attitude Is Everything.
Shaahin Cheyene: Hypnosis Using Language: A Simple "How To" Guide. Don't think of a pink bunny. No, seriously don't. Whether you like it or not, you have just fallen victim to a post-hypnotic suggestion. Simple as it may seem, the rather ridiculous aforementioned image has been planted into your psyche. You have been hypnotized. In Star Wars, the Jedi were able to influence and control the minds of others by making use of the mysterious "Jedi mind trick. " Our words are one of the factors which shape our thoughts, in turn forming an integral ingredient in the construction of our relative "reality" on a continuous basis.
Just as your words make up your world, they also make up the world of the people whom you interact with. Neuro Linguistic Programming, or NLP, is a somewhat controversial system in which hypnotic suggestion is moved from a traditional clinical setting into one which applies the tactic in conversational interactions. In NLP, language is very carefully crafted in order to deliver a deliberate and hypnotic effect on the listener. Is fear of failure holding you back?
Fear of failure can stop you reaching your potential, says Robert Kelsey. Fear of failure can impact our careers, and our whole lives, argues author Robert KelseyFear can make people set their ambitions low, or extraordinarily high, to mask their insecuritiesKelsey outlines seven steps to overcoming our fears Editor's note: Robert Kelsey is the bestselling author of "What's Stopping You?
Why Smart People Don't Always Reach Their Potential and How You Can. " (CNN) -- Why was it that, while others in your class were happy to study law or go into finance, you wanted to be a popstar? Or maybe you were the rebel: an unruly and disruptive influence the teachers disliked. That said, you could have been the procrastinator -- somehow never getting started -- or the dreamy idler living in an invented parallel universe.
Their commonality? Robert Kelsey Fear of failure was first uncovered in the 1960s by psychologists such as John Atkinson. See also: Is happiness the secret of success? 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. The Overjustification Effect. The Misconception: There is nothing better in the world than getting paid to do what you love. The Truth: Getting paid for doing what you already enjoy will sometimes cause your love for the task to wane because you attribute your motivation as coming from the reward, not your internal feelings. Office Space – Courtesy Twentieth Century Fox Money isn’t everything. Money can’t buy happiness. Don’t live someone else’s dream. Figure out what you love and then figure out how to get paid doing it. Maxims like these often find their way into your social media; they arrive in your electronic mailbox at the ends of dense chains of forwards.
Money, fame, and prestige – they dangle just outside your reach it seems, encouraging you to lean farther and farther over the edge, to study longer and longer, to work harder and harder. If only science had something concrete to say about the whole thing, you know? The researchers discovered money is indeed a major factor in day-to-day happiness. What to ask yourself when things go wrong. Solving problems in isolation will only create fear, depression and make you feel victimized. Clarify your situation and act only on what you clearly seeReach out to someone who has proven that they weren't victimized by what you face now Read books that inspire you and describe what it means to go on the inward journey Editor's note: Deepak Chopra, co-founder of the Chopra Foundation and author of "Spiritual Solutions: Answers to Life's Greatest Challenges," reveals how to face your roughest times.
(Oprah.com) -- Challenges are part of everyone's life, but there are dark moments when a challenge turns into a crisis. The outcome of our lives depends on the choices we make at those moments. Will they be breakthroughs or setbacks? It might seem impossible that any three questions can -- and should -- be asked anytime things go wrong, but the sad truth is that millions of us dwell on the three questions we shouldn't ask, questions such as: (1) What's wrong with me? 1. 2. 3. I could go on. Tom Morris: The Gift of Uncertainty. Many people have told me recently that the most unsettling thing about the world right now is the amount and degree of uncertainty we all face in so many ways. A thick fog surrounds us and keeps us from having any clear view of what's next.
Politics has become its own reality TV show, with unanticipated plot turns whose implications no one can guess. The economy is a wild roller coaster of unpredictable volatility. Unforeseen international problems seem to crop up now at an alarming rate, and with challenging consequences that catch us unprepared. In the middle of all this confounding dynamism that's undeniably swirling around us and keeping us all off balance, there is a powerfully calming and focusing perspective that many of the most successful people seem to have naturally. It starts with what may be a surprising insight: We need to consider the possibility that uncertainty is a gift. There is a profound truth that should be the lens through which we view the world around us. John Tsilimparis: Break Free From Anxiety: Change Your Belief Systems.
If I have a personal belief or a fixed thought that a "real man" is a stoic individual who should never ask for help -- because that indicates weakness -- I will be critical of myself whenever I am sad or whenever I am going through a difficult time. I will then feel anxious that something is seriously wrong with me. Conversely, when our minds are fixed in perhaps a positive belief of how things are or should be, and someone or something comes along and challenges that belief, we get scared.
We fight aimlessly to try and hold on to what we think is basic actuality. And, when we are unsuccessful, and we always are because life is full of variety and constant change, we become very anxious. Hence, "fixed thinking" is based on our personal belief systems. The Greek philosopher Epictetus once said, "It is not the things themselves which trouble us, but the opinions that we have about these things. " What are personal belief systems?
What are automatic thoughts? Automatic thoughts are: Exercise: Francine Shapiro, Ph.D.: Why Our Unconscious Rules Us and What to Do About It. One of the common denominators of people who enter therapy is the feeling of being "stuck" in some way. Often there is the feeling of not being able to break out of a set of behaviors, feelings or thoughts. People know "it should be different," but can't seem to get things to really change for themselves. Their moods may come and go, but somehow they keep slipping back into old patterns. Regardless of the number of accomplishments, feelings of not being good enough still arise. Regardless of how spiritual, feelings of anxiety emerge. Regardless of how hard they try, up comes the sense of being out of control. So where do these feelings generally come from? The experiences we've had in life are stored in networks of brain cells called neurons. The memories stored in our brain are either processed or unprocessed.
That is what the brain is geared to do: make the appropriate connections, "digest" the experience and store it in memory. This event had been stored in her brain. References: Russell Bishop: Soul-Talk: Are You Stuck in the Toxic Apology Trap? Surely you have had someone give you a half-hearted apology that left you feeling cold inside. In fact, haven't you been the one giving that "I'm-kind-of-sort-of-sorry" apology yourself? Apologizing just might be a very unique poison you take yourself and then wind up drinking with the other person. Last week, we looked at the difference between forgiving the other person and forgiving yourself for having judged them in the first place. If you have ever "forgiven" the other person but still held on to whatever you found upsetting, then nothing really changed. You're still upset, if perhaps less so, and still blaming the other person as though they were the reason you're upset in the first place.
Judgment is the poison that creates the upset more than the event itself. How Toxic Apologies Can Make Things Worse How could apologizing make things worse? Half-hearted apologies actually come from your Self-Talk. Talk about an education for life! The Apology That Needs No Apology. Tiphani N. Montgomery: How to Be Amazing When You Suck at Everything.
There was once a time in my life where I sucked at everything (yeah, I know... hard to believe!). I was in my early 20s and unsure of the world and all the broken promises life handed me. I was a freshman in college for three years straight and every job I got fired me. I was also a single mom (since my teenage years), and I was failing my daughter miserably. For every dream that I was passionate about, there was always someone who shot it down as a hobby or tried their best to convince me of how unrealistic it was, and I started to believe what "they" were telling me. That I was going to fail. And because I was already failing, I figured that this had to be true! That's when I heard it. I heard that voice and instantly believed! The fact was I wasn't amazing because of my accolades.
I did some reevaluating of my life and realized that the reason I was failing at everything I touched was because it wasn't in my destiny to do them. You know you're right. But it's pointless. 6 Steps to Deflate Self-Defeating Fears. Photo by stock photo Have you ever justified your lack of success towards a goal with the excuse that you lacked the experience? Or that you lacked the resources: money and time? Did you give up before you even tried? Have you ever looked at a competition in your field and justified their success to something trivial like: She’s successful, because she’s got better computer skills.He’s successful because he knows the right people.They are successful because they’ve been doing this for many years.John did it, because he’s loaded, he has more money than I’ll ever see.Maggie has always been luckier than me. We’ve missed the real work behind the scene. You are not alone… There are many of us along with you, struggling with similar experiences based on the same self-inflicted self-limiting thinking.
If you are feeling defensive by my above statements, bare with me, hear me out. First, a personal story: Can you believe it? So, what are you saying? Step 1: Hearing & Recognizing the Voice. Making Your Ideas a Reality - What's Holding You Back. Dr. Jim Taylor: 5 Building Blocks of Positive Life Change. In my last post, I described how difficult changing your life can be and the four obstacles that you must overcome to achieve meaningful and long-lasting change. Yes, change is difficult, despite the "quick and without any effort" claims of motivational speakers and self-help books. The reality is that nothing of value in life, including life change, is easy or fast.
In attempting to change, you are swimming against the tide of many years of those four obstacles: baggage, habits, emotions and environment. But if you can dismantle those obstacles (no small task, admittedly) and commit yourself to a new direction in your life, amazing things can happen and positive change can actually occur. But even before you can begin the process of change (to be discussed in my next post), there are five building blocks that you must put into place as the foundation of positive life change. Epiphany. Emotions. Courage. Change also requires risk and risk is scary because you may fail. Leap of Faith. Vicky Tiel: The Art of Happiness for 2012. Own Your Own Business!
Better yet, if you can, do not involve your father or mother, best friend, and especially never your husband... as he can threaten you, fire you and even replace you with another woman. The Art of Happiness is the Art of Independence, only be responsible to yourself. There are two types of people (in general): those Fearless and those Fearful. You know who you are! As for finance, have a good business plan, save or find some money for the basics, and build your business one day at a time. If you are Fearful, forget about it and don't look back. I remember once in Paris having words with Nicole, the chef d'atelier of my couture boutique. I recently spoke about fashion at the Art and Initiatives Conference on the color red with Zandra Rhodes and Anna Sui.
Fashion is the only industry in all the arts that requires four collections a year, four possibilities of failure, four times a year. None of us three were worse for wear. It is a whole new world. The Neuroscience Of Optimism - The Huffington Post. By Christoph W. Kon (Click here for the original article) Ask a bride before walking down the aisle “How likely are you to get divorced?” And most will respond “Not a chance!” Tell her that the average divorce rate is close to 50 percent, and ask again. Would she change her mind? Unlikely. Psychologists have documented human optimism for decades. To answer these questions we have investigated optimism by using a recent, burgeoning approach in neuroscience: Describing neural activity related to complex behavior with the simple concept of “prediction errors.”
The concept of prediction errors was initially put forward in research on artificial intelligence. How have neuroscientists employed the idea of prediction errors to study brain activity? Interestingly, similar patterns of brain activity seem to be at play when participants gamble for money and when they engage in complex social interactions. How can prediction errors help us to understand optimism? Christoph W. Also on HuffPost: You Docs: Be generous, be happy. How You Can Benefit By Bragging. Why Giving Thanks Is Good For The Psyche. WASHINGTON — Count your blessings this Thanksgiving. It's good for you. While it seems pretty obvious that gratitude is a positive emotion, psychologists for decades rarely delved into the science of giving thanks. But in the last several years they have, learning in many experiments that it is one of humanity's most powerful emotions.
It makes you happier and can change your attitude about life, like an emotional reset button. Especially in hard times, like these. Beyond proving that being grateful helps you, psychologists also are trying to figure out the brain chemistry behind gratitude and the best ways of showing it. "Oprah was right," said University of Miami psychology professor Michael McCullough, who has studied people who are asked to be regularly thankful. And he means hijacking it from out of a funk into a good place. He said psychologists used to underestimate the strength of simple gratitude: "It does make people happier ... "It must be really powerful," Algoe said. Online: Amy Gutman: How to Keep Going When You Think You Can't: 5 Tips for Tough Times. Traci L. Stanard, CPT-NSCA, CWC: 'Balance Is for the Beam, Focus Is for Life'
Motivation: The Drive to Change - The Huffington Post. How to Reduce Negativity. Brain 'rejects negative thoughts' Julie Chen, M.D.: How Negative Thoughts Affect Everything in Our Life. Judith Hammerman: Embracing Discomfort -- What it means to Be Fearless. 30 Things to Stop Doing to Yourself. Russell Bishop: Soul-Talk: Why Are You So Misunderstood? Christina Norman: Put Yourself On The List. How A List Can Change Your Life. Art Markman, Ph.D.: Motivation and Procrastination. Leslie Davenport: 7 Ways to Beat Mental Fatigue. Getting rid of your mental lint.
Organize your mind to organize your life. Margaret Paul, Ph.D.: Do You Have Trouble Making Decisions? Mike Robbins: 5 Ways to Tame Your Inner Critic. Rick Hanson, Ph.D.: Simple Ways to Soothe the Anxious Brain. Pamela Meyer: How to spot a liar. Graham Hill: Less stuff, more happiness. Estela Welldon: 'I speak my mind. Patients take that very well' | Society.
Karen Talavera: Do You Know Who You Really Are, and Are You Living as if You Believe it? Kristi Blicharski: 3 Ways to Be Happier Now. What makes people feel pleasure? RECOVER FROM GRIEF LOSS: Creative Healing Techniques. Suicide grief: Healing after a loved one's suicide. Tapping our powers of persuasion. Dennis Merritt Jones: How Aware Are You of the Words That Come Out of Your Mouth? Cognitive Bias. 5 Simple Exercises for Managing Anxiety. Poet David Whyte's Questions That Have No Right to Go Away. Martha Beck's 20 Questions That Could Change Your Life.
Blaming others can ruin your health. Melissa Lafsky: 5 Truths About Your Parents (That No One Ever Tells You) Ronit Herzfeld: The Three Faces of Anger: Which One Is Yours? Tara Sophia Mohr: 3 Gentle Ways to Deal With Difficult Emotions. Laurie Gerber: Why You Need to Have That Tough Conversation. Oprah Winfrey's Relationship Advice For Conflict Resolution (Video) Dr. Cara Barker: Taking Back Your Life From the Past.