Positive Attitude: 6 Ways to Become More Optimistic. Some people see the world through a filter of optimism: They always make lemonade from the lemons, no matter what happens.
Others see the world through a filter of pessimism; they always find the cloud in the silver lining. It's a truism of life that the optimists are always more successful than the pessimists, but that raises a crucial questions: how can you change your attitude to be more optimistic? The answer? Change the words that you use every day to describe your experience.
Here are some quick language tricks that can change your attitude. 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. Rules 1 through 4 came from Jeff Keller, author of the bestseller Attitude Is Everything. Shaahin Cheyene: Hypnosis Using Language: A Simple "How To" Guide. Don't think of a pink bunny.
No, seriously don't. Whether you like it or not, you have just fallen victim to a post-hypnotic suggestion. Simple as it may seem, the rather ridiculous aforementioned image has been planted into your psyche. Is fear of failure holding you back? Fear of failure can stop you reaching your potential, says Robert Kelsey.
Fear of failure can impact our careers, and our whole lives, argues author Robert KelseyFear can make people set their ambitions low, or extraordinarily high, to mask their insecuritiesKelsey outlines seven steps to overcoming our fears Editor's note: Robert Kelsey is the bestselling author of "What's Stopping You? Why Smart People Don't Always Reach Their Potential and How You Can. " (CNN) -- Why was it that, while others in your class were happy to study law or go into finance, you wanted to be a popstar? Or maybe you were the rebel: an unruly and disruptive influence the teachers disliked. The Overjustification Effect. The Misconception: There is nothing better in the world than getting paid to do what you love.
The Truth: Getting paid for doing what you already enjoy will sometimes cause your love for the task to wane because you attribute your motivation as coming from the reward, not your internal feelings. Office Space – Courtesy Twentieth Century Fox Money isn’t everything. Money can’t buy happiness. Don’t live someone else’s dream. What to ask yourself when things go wrong. Solving problems in isolation will only create fear, depression and make you feel victimized.
Tom Morris: The Gift of Uncertainty. Many people have told me recently that the most unsettling thing about the world right now is the amount and degree of uncertainty we all face in so many ways.
A thick fog surrounds us and keeps us from having any clear view of what's next. Politics has become its own reality TV show, with unanticipated plot turns whose implications no one can guess. The economy is a wild roller coaster of unpredictable volatility. Unforeseen international problems seem to crop up now at an alarming rate, and with challenging consequences that catch us unprepared. In the middle of all this confounding dynamism that's undeniably swirling around us and keeping us all off balance, there is a powerfully calming and focusing perspective that many of the most successful people seem to have naturally. It starts with what may be a surprising insight: We need to consider the possibility that uncertainty is a gift. There is a profound truth that should be the lens through which we view the world around us. John Tsilimparis: Break Free From Anxiety: Change Your Belief Systems. If I have a personal belief or a fixed thought that a "real man" is a stoic individual who should never ask for help -- because that indicates weakness -- I will be critical of myself whenever I am sad or whenever I am going through a difficult time.
I will then feel anxious that something is seriously wrong with me. Conversely, when our minds are fixed in perhaps a positive belief of how things are or should be, and someone or something comes along and challenges that belief, we get scared. We fight aimlessly to try and hold on to what we think is basic actuality. And, when we are unsuccessful, and we always are because life is full of variety and constant change, we become very anxious. Hence, "fixed thinking" is based on our personal belief systems. The Greek philosopher Epictetus once said, "It is not the things themselves which trouble us, but the opinions that we have about these things.
" Francine Shapiro, Ph.D.: Why Our Unconscious Rules Us and What to Do About It. One of the common denominators of people who enter therapy is the feeling of being "stuck" in some way.
Often there is the feeling of not being able to break out of a set of behaviors, feelings or thoughts. People know "it should be different," but can't seem to get things to really change for themselves. Their moods may come and go, but somehow they keep slipping back into old patterns. Regardless of the number of accomplishments, feelings of not being good enough still arise. Regardless of how spiritual, feelings of anxiety emerge. The experiences we've had in life are stored in networks of brain cells called neurons. The memories stored in our brain are either processed or unprocessed. That is what the brain is geared to do: make the appropriate connections, "digest" the experience and store it in memory. What's important here is that just the sight of the person can trigger the feelings, even years later, whether I consciously remember the fight or not. Russell Bishop: Soul-Talk: Are You Stuck in the Toxic Apology Trap?
Surely you have had someone give you a half-hearted apology that left you feeling cold inside.
In fact, haven't you been the one giving that "I'm-kind-of-sort-of-sorry" apology yourself? Apologizing just might be a very unique poison you take yourself and then wind up drinking with the other person. Last week, we looked at the difference between forgiving the other person and forgiving yourself for having judged them in the first place. Tiphani N. Montgomery: How to Be Amazing When You Suck at Everything. There was once a time in my life where I sucked at everything (yeah, I know... hard to believe!).
I was in my early 20s and unsure of the world and all the broken promises life handed me. I was a freshman in college for three years straight and every job I got fired me. I was also a single mom (since my teenage years), and I was failing my daughter miserably. For every dream that I was passionate about, there was always someone who shot it down as a hobby or tried their best to convince me of how unrealistic it was, and I started to believe what "they" were telling me.
That I was going to fail. 6 Steps to Deflate Self-Defeating Fears. Photo by stock photo Have you ever justified your lack of success towards a goal with the excuse that you lacked the experience? Making Your Ideas a Reality - What's Holding You Back. Dr. Jim Taylor: 5 Building Blocks of Positive Life Change. In my last post, I described how difficult changing your life can be and the four obstacles that you must overcome to achieve meaningful and long-lasting change.
Yes, change is difficult, despite the "quick and without any effort" claims of motivational speakers and self-help books. The reality is that nothing of value in life, including life change, is easy or fast. In attempting to change, you are swimming against the tide of many years of those four obstacles: baggage, habits, emotions and environment. But if you can dismantle those obstacles (no small task, admittedly) and commit yourself to a new direction in your life, amazing things can happen and positive change can actually occur. Vicky Tiel: The Art of Happiness for 2012. The Neuroscience Of Optimism - The Huffington Post. By Christoph W. Kon (Click here for the original article) Ask a bride before walking down the aisle “How likely are you to get divorced?” And most will respond “Not a chance!” Tell her that the average divorce rate is close to 50 percent, and ask again. You Docs: Be generous, be happy.
How You Can Benefit By Bragging. Why Giving Thanks Is Good For The Psyche. WASHINGTON — Count your blessings this Thanksgiving. It's good for you. While it seems pretty obvious that gratitude is a positive emotion, psychologists for decades rarely delved into the science of giving thanks. But in the last several years they have, learning in many experiments that it is one of humanity's most powerful emotions. It makes you happier and can change your attitude about life, like an emotional reset button.
Especially in hard times, like these. Beyond proving that being grateful helps you, psychologists also are trying to figure out the brain chemistry behind gratitude and the best ways of showing it. "Oprah was right," said University of Miami psychology professor Michael McCullough, who has studied people who are asked to be regularly thankful. Amy Gutman: How to Keep Going When You Think You Can't: 5 Tips for Tough Times. Traci L. Stanard, CPT-NSCA, CWC: 'Balance Is for the Beam, Focus Is for Life' Have you ever been stuck in a rut, suffering from burnout or just plain blue?
Motivation: The Drive to Change - The Huffington Post. How to Reduce Negativity. In one sense, the battle to be happy is a battle against negativity. Bad things happen all the time but how we internalize them, how we react to them, is what ultimately determines their final effect on us—and over that we have simultaneously more and less control than we realize. More, because assign the meaning of events, not the events themselves, even though it as if that meaning is somehow assigned for us. Brain 'rejects negative thoughts' Julie Chen, M.D.: How Negative Thoughts Affect Everything in Our Life.
Judith Hammerman: Embracing Discomfort. Fear less, hope more, eat less, chew more, whine less, breathe more, talk less, say more, love more, and all good things will be yours. ~ Swedish Proverb. 30 Things to Stop Doing to Yourself. Russell Bishop: Soul-Talk: Why Are You So Misunderstood? Christina Norman: Put Yourself On The List. How A List Can Change Your Life. Art Markman, Ph.D.: Motivation and Procrastination. Leslie Davenport: 7 Ways to Beat Mental Fatigue. Getting rid of your mental lint. Organize your mind to organize your life. Margaret Paul, Ph.D.: Do You Have Trouble Making Decisions? Mike Robbins: 5 Ways to Tame Your Inner Critic. Rick Hanson, Ph.D.: Simple Ways to Soothe the Anxious Brain.
Pamela Meyer: How to spot a liar. Graham Hill: Less stuff, more happiness. Estela Welldon: 'I speak my mind. Patients take that very well'
Karen Talavera: Do You Know Who You Really Are, and Are You Living as if You Believe it? Kristi Blicharski: 3 Ways to Be Happier Now. What makes people feel pleasure? RECOVER FROM GRIEF LOSS: Creative Healing Techniques. Suicide grief: Healing after a loved one's suicide. Tapping our powers of persuasion. Dennis Merritt Jones: How Aware Are You of the Words That Come Out of Your Mouth? Cognitive Bias. 5 Simple Exercises for Managing Anxiety. Poet David Whyte's Questions That Have No Right to Go Away. Martha Beck's 20 Questions That Could Change Your Life. Blaming others can ruin your health. Melissa Lafsky: 5 Truths About Your Parents (That No One Ever Tells You) Ronit Herzfeld: The Three Faces of Anger: Which One Is Yours? Tara Sophia Mohr: 3 Gentle Ways to Deal With Difficult Emotions. Laurie Gerber: Why You Need to Have That Tough Conversation. Oprah Winfrey's Relationship Advice For Conflict Resolution (Video) Dr. Cara Barker: Taking Back Your Life From the Past.