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Burns' Night

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Funny Jokes About Men – for women! - Funny Jokes. Men are like…..Bananas.

Funny Jokes About Men – for women! - Funny Jokes

The older they get, the less firm they are. Of course women don’t work as hard as men… They get it right the first time. Funny Jokes About Men – for women! - Funny Jokes. The Reply For The Lassies. Warning: This blog contains extremely sexist material.

The Reply For The Lassies.

Man jokes. What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name?

Man jokes

They're hard to get started, they emit noxious odors, and half the time they don't work. ONE......He just holds it up there and waits for the world to revolve around him. When the crew gets lost in space, the woman will ask for directions. Funny Guy Quotes That Poke Fun at Men. By Simran Khurana Are Men and Women Different?

Funny Guy Quotes That Poke Fun at Men

Do you think women are complicated? Well, understanding men is not a piece of cake either. The difference lies in how the two genders are wired differently: biologically and psychologically. You may have often heard the clichéd statement, "All guys think alike. " Before you run out to get a copy of GQ, the famous men's magazine, sit back and reflect on all the men you know. Evaluate your husband, brother, son, or boyfriend. The Stereotypical MaleThe media often stereotypes men as chauvinists, with bloated egos, and low emotional maturity. Continue reading below our video Loaded: 0% Progress: 0% And presumably, all men have an affliction towards gizmos and gadgets. Scientists and psychologists agree that men and women have different brain conditioning that allows them to think differently. Toast to the Lassies and Reply. I thought it would be good to record Troy and I's speech.

Toast to the Lassies and Reply

Although I have to admit that I borrowed some of mine from Elaine C Smith's Reply at a previous Burns Supper. Troy's Speech: Toast To The Lassies. Men And Women Differences Illustrated. How to have the Best Burns Night Ever, eh no? Today's the proud day when the eyes of the world are upon my own wee home country of Scotchland.

How to have the Best Burns Night Ever, eh no?

Och aye and, let us not forget, the noo. All over the globe men, women and transgender folk are gathering round their iPads to celebrate the birth/death/life (Note to research: check that will you? I've got cocktails at six, then Brahms at the Usher Hall) of our greatest shagger and poet/lyricist. Yes, it's Marti Pellow Night! When citizens of the greatest small non-sovereign nation north of and attached to England join together to take heroin and sing Ilikekickinginthegutter and-a Wishin' Ah Wiz Lucky, while mincin' aboot like they've goat a bad case o' piles.

Stories, Jokes & Anecdotes Page3. While walking down the street in Edinburgh one day a Member of the Scottish Parliament is tragically hit by a bus and dies.

Stories, Jokes & Anecdotes Page3

His soul arrives in heaven and is met by St. Peter at the entrance. "Welcome to heaven," says St. Peter. Songs and Poems. Blog Archive » Burns Night. Went to a tartan-tastic Burns Night – our first one ever!

Blog Archive » Burns Night

My mission was to tackle the ‘Reply from the Lassies’ speech, and here is my attempt. Writing and delivering it turned out to be far less stressful than determining what to wear (ended up buying a strip of tartan material and making a sash-like thing, which makes me sound like an accomplished seamstress, which is a lie as I used the iron-on hemming stuff that I use for the kids’ school trousers’ hems.) Reply from the lassies As I start my speech this evening I fear that my reply May cause some consternation I hope though, no outcry A man deserves to be rebuked (A lass is ne’er to blame) He emailed me with his request Colin is his name. Hitcham and Taplow Society: NewsLetter99BurnsNight. I didn’t intend to make a speech But Laird can be persuasive.

Hitcham and Taplow Society: NewsLetter99BurnsNight

I think perhaps in retrospect I should have been more evasive. As I start my speech this evening I fear that my reply Is not quite what Laird intended, But what I’ll do is try. Thank you Neil – a real toast To make the lassies blush. A man who makes a proper speech Now there’s a secret crush. Let's talk about the man drawer. Does your partner have one? We had enough batteries in our ‘man’ drawer to power a small city.

Let's talk about the man drawer. Does your partner have one?

But, oddly, not enough to power all of the light bulbs in there. We’d have to blow every light bulb in the house all at once, three times over, to use up all the ‘spares’ we had sitting in that thing. But that’s what it’s for. Michael McIntyre on Scotland - BBC. The Birth of the Kilt - Michael McIntyre's Comedy Roadshow - BBC One. Michael McIntyre on Scottish people. Scottish Humour, Married Bliss. The course of true love doesn't always run smoothly.. Good AdviceGeordie's son was getting married soon and he thought he should try to give him some words of wisdom about married life, born of the 30-odd years of his own experiences. He though carefully and ended up by saying: "Once you get married, remember that when you have a discussion with your future wife, always try to get the last two words in: "Yes dear" in a very firm voice.

"~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Is It Time? After ten years of dating Sandy, one beautiful evening on the Isle of Skye Jean thought at last it was time to ask "the question". Scottish Limericks. The next limerick may have originated in North America where the season autumn is more usually called "fall". For those not over-familiar with Scottish geography, Tranent is a small town, four miles east of Edinburgh. There was an old lady of Tranent Whose nose was remarkably bent One day they supposed She followed her nose For no one knew which way she went. There was a young Scotsman named Fisher Who was fishing for fish in a fissure.

Then a cod, with a grin, Pulled the fisherman in. Blog Archive » Burns Night.